


Because of Course

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Animal Shifters, Blow Jobs, Claiming Bites, Crimes & Criminals, Falling In Love, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Morning After, Name-Calling, Rough Sex, Suffering, Western
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27452821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Jeremy, a mountain lion shifter and an incredible thief, is yanked suddenly into the world of wolf shifters when he meets one on a job. And gets shot. Because of course he does. He tries his best to stay away from the hurt he foresees, but finds himself falling further and further into the world of his fellow shifters as he works with these wolves to stop a dastardly plot.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.
Comments: 75
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy was a smart man. Or at least he had thought he was. Now he wasn’t so sure. In fairness, he’d been pretty smart about the job. He’d worked out all the things that could go wrong and planned accordingly. As he always did. He always carried a gun, a knife, and rope with him. He always made sure he kept his feet wrapped carefully. He always went in without a coat and wearing minimal clothing.

He was still and quiet, like any good night was. He made no noise and went unseen in the shadows. He was the very definition of a thief. The ideal. The kind that any other would want to be like. But no other thief could be like him. No other thief was part cat. No other thief could see easily in the dark nor always land on their feet. No other thief was a natural predator, a hunter that could stalk his prey unseen for hours.

Jeremy was never surprised, never taken off guard, because he always anticipated every possible move. What Jeremy later learned was that sometimes something impossible happens. Sometimes, no matter how much you plan, something would throw you off your course completely. Something would ruin your carefully laid path. Or more likely, someone.

In Jeremy’s case, it was someone already in the room when he came in the window. Well, someone other than the someone went to be there. Someone who smelled like a wolf. Someone who whipped around, sending a knife whizzing through the air. Jeremy was lucky he was super-humanly quick with how fast that knife flew at his head.

He rolled and this is when the smell of blood really hit him. The someone in the room was killing the someone Jeremy was stealing from. This was too many someones and Jeremy’s head hurt. He rolled again as several more knives flew at him. He flipped and dodged his way toward his goal. He wasn’t leaving without the thing he was trying to steal. Not after all this careful planning. He wasn’t going to let some asshole ruin his job.

The muffled noises of distress from the bed seemed to indicate the wolf-man was throwing these knives while keeping the other hand over the target’s mouth. Why hadn’t he killed the target before he lost all his knives trying to hit Jeremy? How could he even see Jeremy with no moon out to light up the room? Jeremy hesitated by his prize, glancing over at the wolf man.

_Is he like me?_ Perhaps his eyes merely adjusted well in the dark. But he smelled like a wolf. Not like there were traces of wolf on him. No, he  was the wolf. Half wolf, half man. A shapeshifter, like Jeremy.  Possibly. The wolf was staring at him while he stared back. The target on the bed suddenly surged upward, breaking free of the wolf’s distracted hold and screamed.

Jeremy grabbed the object, looping the strap over his head and turned to make a run for it, but tripped over one of the wolf’s knives, nearly crashing into the floor. He managed to roll back to his feet, but didn’t make it to the window before the door of the room burst open. He was temporarily blinded by the sudden light, hissing as he recoiled from it. As his terrible luck would have it, when the entering person fired a shot at the wolf, it missed and hit Jeremy instead.

Because of course it did.

Jeremy yowled, dropping to one knee and clutching the wound in his side. He wobbled as he looked over in time to see the wolf killing the one who shot him, their head exploding from the gunshot under their chin. The wolf closed the door and shoved a dresser in front of it. Then he was coming across the room towards Jeremy who hastily scrambled back, bumping into the wall below the window.

Instead of killing him, the wolf quickly picked up his knives. Then he again approached Jeremy who whimpered, pressing up against the wall. The wolf leaned over him, putting his crotch right in Jeremy’s face as he opened the window. He was leaving. He was leaving Jeremy to die. Jeremy gripped the wolf’s trousers with the hand not on his wound, tears springing to his eyes. The wolf grunted, leaning back a bit to look down at him.

“P-Please d-don’t leave me!” He sobbed, “P-Please don’t just leave me t-to die! I c-can be useful! I-I’m really good at being a-a thief, p-please!”

The wolf hesitated and Jeremy gripped tighter.

“Please!” He cried, “Please don’t go!”

The wolf stepped back and helped Jeremy to his feet. Jeremy wobbled as he climbed out the window onto the roof. The wolf followed him out and scooped him into his arms like he weighed nothing. Jeremy held onto the wolf’s coat as he moved quickly across the roof. He dropped down from the roof and hoisted Jeremy up sideways into a saddle before hopping up himself.

Jeremy thought there was a commotion, but he was too dizzy and out of it to be sure. He buried his face in the wolf’s chest, gripping his coat tightly as the horse took off. The wolf put an arm around Jeremy’s waist and held him closely as they galloped off into the night.

“Thank you,” Jeremy whispered, “Thank you. Thank you. Than-“

“Shh.”

Jeremy fell asleep.

~

Jeremy groaned as he woke up in pain, rubbing his face against his pillow. His pillow was pretty hard for a pillow. Really warm too. Smelled like wolf for some reason. And it was moving?

Jeremy’s eyes snapped open and he rolled away onto the floor. He went for his knife as he hissed at the wolf on the bed. His knife was missing. The wolf sat up, hands going out, gesturing, trying to placate Jeremy. Jeremy stayed crouched on the floor, watching the wolf closely as he reached for a lantern nearby. After he lit it, he crouched down to put himself on the same level as Jeremy. Jeremy growled, shuffling back to put more distance between them.

The wolf had striking blue eyes and long, lightly colored hair. He had two scars in the corners of his mouth where it looked like someone widened his smile with a knife. He lowered his hands down to the floor, dipping low in a sign of submission. Jeremy tried to remember what happened.  _Wolf, knives, **bang.**_

“You got me shot,” Jeremy accused.

The wolf looked back up from the floor, scowling. He shook his head, lifting up to point to the side. Jeremy looked over to see a gun propped up against the wall. His gun. Technically. He stole it fair and square. All his equipment was by it, including his shirt, which he now realized wasn’t on his body. He inched towards his things, watching the wolf carefully.

“It’s not _my_ fault you happened to be there,” he grumbled as he pulled his shirt on, “I just wanted the pretty rifle.”

He put on his belt and looped the rifle strap over his head again. He stood up slowly as did the wolf. He was a head taller than Jeremy and Jeremy didn’t like it one bit. He started for the door out of the little cabin, but the wolf quickly blocked his path, hands up. He pointed at his own side and then his feet. Jeremy felt the bandage over the bullet wound and glanced at his feet.

“I never wear boots,” he grunted, “And I’m not going to thank you for fixing your mistake.”

The wolf gestured at his side then at the bed.

“I’m definitely not thanking you like that,” Jeremy growled.

The wolf shook his head, gesturing in frantic denying motions. He gestured at his wound and the bed again. Jeremy looked between him and the bed.

“You think I should rest,” Jeremy guessed.

The wolf nodded.

“I’m fine, move,” Jeremy grumbled, starting for the door again.

The wolf moved to block him again. Jeremy narrowed his eyes at him. Then he feinted left and dashed right. The wolf fell for the feint and was nowhere near fast enough to catch him as he burst through the door. He was nearly blinded by the sunlight and found his nose assaulted by the stench of wolves. His eyes darted around as he adjusted to the sudden light.

_Five._ Five more wolves. Five more wolves  _staring_ at him. He stumbled back, away from them, into the blue eyed wolf. He darted around him, gripping his coat as he hid behind him. He peeked around the wolf’s arm at the other five.

They had gathered up now, halting what they were doing to come forward. The one he was using as a shield lifted his arm and turned slightly to look down at him. Jeremy looked up at him nervously. He patted Jeremy’s head and smiled reassuringly.

“Uh, hey there, little buddy,” one of the other wolves called out.

Jeremy ducked further behind the shield wolf, eyes narrowing at the one who spoke. He had dark hair and blue eyes. His mustache was curly and he was covered in tattoos. He looked familiar.

“You’re a wanted man,” Jeremy accused, “Night King.”

His eyes drifted to the red-headed woman to his right.

“Red Rider.”

His eyes moved next to the sandy haired man to King’s left.

“Golden Boy.”

He looked at the curly haired one next to him.

“Mogar.”

He looked at the black haired one by Rider.

“BrownMan.”

He swallowed nervously as he looked up at the last wolf.

“That makes you the Vagabond,” he murmured.

Because of course he was. 

Vagabond raised an eyebrow at Jeremy. Jeremy felt the urge to hide behind him from him which was interesting.

“We’re not gonna hurt you, kid,” King spoke up, redrawing his attention.

Jeremy gripped Vagabond’s coat more tightly as he stepped forward, putting up a hand. 

“Seriously, we wouldn’t have patched you up if we were just going to kill you,” he added.

“What do you want then?” Jeremy demanded.

“Vagabond said that you promised to work for us if he got you out of there,” King answered.

Jeremy scowled. _Did I?_ He couldn’t remember properly after getting shot. He looked up at Vagabond who nodded confirmation.

“Alright,” he grumbled begrudgingly, “Then what do you want?”

“First of all, come sit and eat,” King suggested, gesturing at the campfire behind him, “You really need to get your strength back.”

Jeremy hesitated and Vagabond patted his head again, smiling lightly. He coaxed Jeremy around him and pushed him gently toward the fire pit. The other wolves all moved back to where they’d been before. Vagabond sat Jeremy on a stool and a bowl was put in his hands. He sniffed at the contents, which appeared to be a stew made with deer meat. His stomach growled and he quickly devoured it. He held the empty bowl out for more and the golden one grinned at him as he ladled more into it.

“And all you assholes said it wasn’t good!” Gold laughed triumphantly.

“The cat clearly has no sense of taste,” Rider snorted as Jeremy devoured the second bowl, “Or else he’s just so hungry he can’t taste how bad it is.”

“Deer is always good,” Jeremy mumbled.

“So now that you’ve eaten,” King spoke up where he was sat nearby, “Vagabond says you’re a thief.“

Jeremy tugged the strap across his chest.

“Yes.”

“And you’re a shapeshifter,” King continued.

“Yes.”

“And you easily dodged his knives,” King added.

“Yes.”

“We want you to join our pack,” King explained.

Jeremy frowned at him, glancing around at the others.

“Why?” He grunted.

“You’re good at what you do,” King answered, “And you’re a shapeshifter.”

“I’m a mountain lion,” Jeremy pointed out, “A cat.”

“Yes, we noticed,” King snorted, “Makes no difference to us.”

“Cats don’t run in packs,” Jeremy added.

“But what cats do or do not do doesn’t matter,” King argued, “What matters is what _you_ do. And we’d like you to join our pack. You should stay here while you heal. Once you’re healed you can stay or go.”

“Okay.”

“You got a name, kid?” King grunted.

“Most people do,” Jeremy muttered dryly, “You can call me Rimmy Tim.”

“Alright, then, Rimmy Tim, you should probably get some more rest,” King suggested.

Jeremy wobbled a bit. He was pretty tired. Vagabond was there suddenly, picking him up and carrying him back to the cabin and the bed. He helped Jeremy take off his equipment again. Then he laid him down and Jeremy suddenly wanted to ask him to stay. He didn’t. He just rolled over and promptly fell asleep, careful to ensure his back was to the wall, not the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sure everything will be happy and fine just like my other old west and shape shifters fics. 😈


	2. Chapter 2

When Jeremy woke up, his feet were warm. He sat up and jumped in surprise to find a wolf laying on them. Said wolf woke up at his jumpiness, sitting up and stretching. It sleepily blinked brilliant blue eyes at him.

“Vagabond?” Jeremy mumbled.

Vagabond perked up at his name, tail wagging behind him. 

“Er, thanks for keeping my feet warm, I guess?” Jeremy grunted.

Vagabond jumped on him, careful not to actually put his paws on him and licked at his face while bouncing excitedly. 

“Um.”

Jeremy rubbed the top of Vagabond’s head between his ears and Vagabond pushed into his hand. He yipped excitedly and jumped from the bed. Jeremy wiped slobber off his face as he sat up. Vagabond bit his pants and tugged lightly. 

“You want to go somewhere?” Jeremy guessed.

Vagabond sat back and yipped. 

“Do you have to be all wolf-y for this?” Jeremy grumbled as he stood up.

Vagabond tugged his pants again then he nosed at a pile of clothes beside the bed. 

“You...want me to shift too?” Jeremy muttered.

Vagabond sat back and yipped. This was apparently wolf for “yes”. Jeremy wondered why he’d want him to shift and ultimately found himself too curious to just ignore it. He pulled his shirt over his head and Vagabond turned around as he tugged open his pants. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he let the fabric drop. Then he went to get the door open before he shifted. Vagabond bounded excitedly out ahead of him to lead the way.

“Come on!” He barked excitedly, “We can still make it if we hurry!”

Jeremy was shocked to find he could understand him. He couldn’t understand normal wolves. Jeremy wanted to point out he was still injured, but was now even more curious about where they were going. He really hoped it wasn’t some sort of strange wolf ritual. He followed Vagabond through the forest to a grassy hill that he trotted up to the top of. 

Jeremy sat beside him and followed where his eyes were looking. The full moon was hanging low in the sky, getting close to dipping below the horizon. _Is this really what he dragged me out here for?_ Vagabond howled suddenly, startling Jeremy.

“Why’d you do that?” Jeremy asked.

“Because it’s fun,” Vagabond answered, “Try it.”

“Cats don’t howl,” Jeremy pointed out.

“Do whatever you do,” Vagabond suggested.

Jeremy hesitated a moment before letting out a scream that startled Vagabond worse than his howl startled Jeremy.

“Lord Jesus!” Vagabond exclaimed, “You sound like a dying person! That’s terrifying!”

“You said do what I do,” Jeremy huffed.

“Do it again!” Vagabond requested, jumping up and bouncing excitedly.

Jeremy screamed again and Vagabond howled. Their sounds together were enough to make anyone have a heart attack. Vagabond yipped, nipping at Jeremy’s snout. Jeremy nipped back.

“What are you doing?” He growled.

“This is how wolves play!” Vagabond answered, jumping forward to nip at Jeremy’s ear.

His tail was wagging again. He leaned back, yipping before jumping forward and nipping at Jeremy again. Jeremy put a front paw on his head and pushed him down. Vagabond’s tail went crazy where it was sticking up in the air. He barked excitedly. 

“You are very strange,” Jeremy muttered, “And I’m still injured.”

“Awe, I’ll go easy on you!” Vagabond promised from where his lower jaw was pressed in the dirt, “I just want to play. I’ve never played with a cougar before!”

“I’ve never been played with,” Jeremy admitted, pulling his paw away.

Vagabond bounced back up, going for his ear again, but Jeremy batted him away. He lifted up to nip back, actually getting a hold of Vagabond’s ear. Vagabond nipped at him and he let go. Vagabond dropped and rolled onto his back, whining.

“You’re being a little cub,” Jeremy snorted.

“I’ll never recover!” Vagabond howled.

Jeremy made a whistling sort of noise that he realized was laughter in his animal form. He nosed at Vagabond’s head.

“Come on, don’t be dramatic,” he teased.

“I can’t go on,” Vagabond insisted, “You’ll have to drag me back.”

“Okay.”

Jeremy moved to bite his tail and Vagabond got up in a hurry.

“Okay, okay!” He huffed, “I’m up!”

Jeremy tugged his tail lightly before letting go.

“You don’t play fair,” Vagabond grumbled.

Jeremy whistled in laughter again.

“I’m a cat,” he pointed out, “Of course I don’t.”

He stretched and winced at the flare of pain from his wound. Vagabond nosed at his bandage.

“We should go back,” he announced, “You were right. Sorry I dragged you up here.”

“I had fun,” Jeremy dismissed as they started back, “I’m glad you did.”

Vagabond licked his neck suddenly and Jeremy whined as his fur was ruffled. He batted him away and Vagabond nipped him lightly before leaving him alone. They were quiet on the way back. By the time they made it back, Jeremy was too tired to even bother shifting or getting the door. He just climbed up onto the bed and snuggled into Vagabond’s fur as he followed him up.

~  


Jeremy woke up bare-ass naked in the arms of another bare-ass naked man. It took him a second to remember where he was and whose cock was poking his thigh. He cleared his throat and shifted slightly away. Vagabond stirred, making an annoyed noise and yanked him back against him. His face rubbed against Jeremy’s head while he pulled him as close as he could get him. 

“Er, V-Vagabond?” Jeremy wheezed, “You’re squeezing me. W-Wake up, please.”

Vagabond shifted, loosening his grip, but still staying pressed against him. His hand trailed over Jeremy’s back and he shifted again to rub his cheek against Jeremy’s. Jeremy could feel the scarring rubbing against his face and swallowed nervously. _He’s rather physical, isn’t he?_

“Is being this cuddly a wolf thing?” Jeremy murmured.

Vagabond shrugged. _Is rubbing your hard cock all over me a wolf thing?_ Jeremy also wanted to ask. Jeremy wasn’t exactly shy, but this still seemed rather intimate. He didn’t mind though. He liked Vagabond touching him. Actually, he wouldn’t mind if he’d focus his touching.

Jeremy carefully and slowly took Vagabond’s hand off his back and pushed it between his legs. Vagabond pulled back slightly to look in his eyes, uncertain. Jeremy wrapped his own hand around Vagabond’s cock. 

“Is this...okay?” He whispered.

Vagabond hesitated a moment before nodding. They leaned closer as their hands started moving, rubbing noses as they pressed gentle kisses to each other’s mouths. Then Jeremy pressed a little harder, opening his mouth to invite Vagabond deeper into this cloud of relaxed pleasure. Vagabond happily did so, lips moving against Jeremy’s as their hands picked up their pace. 

Jeremy couldn’t help but tongue at the scars that widened Vagabond’s mouth. Vagabond didn’t seem to mind and Jeremy enjoyed the interesting new texture on his tongue. Sort of rough and soft at the same time. Vagabond whimpered, his hand faltering as his body tensed. Jeremy drank up his soft moaning as he got close. He sounded so desperate, panting and moaning against Jeremy’s mouth. 

“Come on, sweetheart, let it go,” Jeremy coaxed.

Vagabond groaned as his hips jerked and he released over Jeremy’s hand. 

“Good boy,” Jeremy praised.

Vagabond rubbed his cheek against Jeremy’s, with adorable little pleased humming. Jeremy put his hand around Vagabond’s where it was still holding his cock and moved it quickly while Vagabond sleepily tried to participate. Jeremy’s semen joined Vagabond’s between them and he panted, trying to catch his breath while Vagabond continued nuzzling his face. He was adorable. 

Jeremy pulled back to kiss him and they stared at each other a moment. Jeremy brought his hand up to cup his jaw and rubbed his thumb over the scar. Was this why Vagabond didn’t talk? The cuts widened his mouth, maybe they effected how he talked? 

Vagabond was watching him closely, as though he was waiting for Jeremy to react. As though he was afraid of what that reaction might be. Jeremy leaned forward and kissed the scar. Then he turned Vagabond’s head and kissed the other scar. Vagabond was blushing as Jeremy pulled back again.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

“If you two are finished, we need V for a job!” King’s voice called through the door.

Vagabond whined, pulling closer to Jeremy.

“You should go,” Jeremy laughed, “Don’t let down your pack now.”

Vagabond huffed, but rolled off the bed to his feet. He retrieved a cloth to wipe up the sheets before moving to get on his clothes. Jeremy watched him bend over with avid interest. He was distracted from his ass by thick scars over the backs of his thighs. Vagabond had seen a lot of pain, hadn’t he? 

Jeremy’s heart clenched. Maybe Vagabond was more similar to him than he’d realized. Maybe that was why he felt so drawn to him. That and the man was so kind to him for seemingly no reason. No one was kind to Jeremy and it simultaneously worried him and made him feel all warm inside.

Vagabond crouched by the bed, smiling lightly as he brushed a hand through Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy smiled back and they kissed before Vagabond turned to leave. Jeremy suddenly felt very tired as the door of the cabin closed. But a lingering thought had him resisting sleep. 

What would he risk by staying? Sure, there was something real tempting happening between him and Vagabond, but he’d already been hurt once by associating with the wolf. How much more would he end up hurting if he stayed? 

Was what he had with Vagabond worth that risk of pain?

~

Ryan traipsed tiredly toward his cabin. He was tired and sweaty from the job. He was really looking forward to some more naked cuddling with Rimmy. He blushed, taking off his hat to brush his hand over his hair.

The idea of someone waiting for him in his bed was appealing. The others had mercilessly teased him for bedding a cat, but he thought it was worth it. That kiss at the end, before he left, felt like a warm Summer night. Just as it’d felt howling at the moon with him. There was a connection between them, one that may have started because Ryan couldn’t say no to Rimmy’s adorable pleading, but now it was something more, possibly there could be even more. And for the first time in Ryan’s life, he _wanted_ there to be more. He opened the cabin door. 

The moonlight behind him cast his shadow over an empty bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the hell even is “slow burn” and “nice things”??


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremy was the lowest kind of scum, he knew this. After begging for help, promising to return the favor, and bedding one of the wolves, he just left. Like some sort of scummy, fleet-footed whore. He was the worst.

It didn’t stop him from thinking about Vagabond. Thinking what if he’d taken the risk? But the only person Jeremy could rely on was himself. It was Jeremy against the world. 

_But what if..._

Jeremy shook his head. He needed to focus. It’d been two months, he needed to stop thinking about the wolf. But it felt like he could still smell him. He paused, sniffing the air. No, it wasn’t _like_ he could smell him, he _could_ smell him. He was in the mansion somewhere. _Shit._ Why was he there?? 

And why could Jeremy smell sickness coming from him? 

Against his better judgement, Jeremy followed the scent, avoiding the few guards in the place. Vagabond was in the basement, locked in a cell, guarded by two bored looking assholes playing cards. He was shivering, breathing hard. He was sick with some sort of fever. He seemed to be missing most of his clothes too. Though he was alert enough to look over as Jeremy entered the room.

Jeremy slammed one of the guards into the table as he flipped over them to slam his foot into the other’s face. Then he brought his foot to the side and smashed his heel into their temple. He rolled off the table and took the keys to free Vagabond. Vagabond sat up as Jeremy entered the cell to help him up.

“Can you walk?” Jeremy whispered.

Vagabond reached for him, swaying.

“That’s a no then,” Jeremy murmured, moving to scoop Vagabond up.

Vagabond wrapped around him, burying his hot face in Jeremy’s neck. He carefully carried Vagabond back the way he came, avoiding the guards again. Which was harder with the added weight. Instead of leaving the grounds the way he came, he went to the stables to steal a horse. He put Vagabond on the horse sideways before hauling himself up. It was painful how similar the situation was to the one two months prior. He hoped the wolves were still where he’d left them.

“Missed you,” Vagabond whispered in Jeremy’s ear.

_He has a lisp. Is that why he doesn’t talk?_ He rubbed his face against Jeremy’s. He definitely had a fever.

“Don’t...leave again,” he mumbled, “I can be better...I’ll make you feel good this time.”

He kissed Jeremy’s neck and weakly pawed at his shirt. Jeremy’s eyes stung. 

“You thought that’s why I left,” he breathed, “Of course that’s what you thought...You’re really too out of it for this conversation, but that’s not why I left. I felt really good. You were good. I left because...I’m a coward.”

“I can...protect you,” Vagabond assured him, though his slurring words didn’t inspire confidence.

“How would you protect me from yourself?” Jeremy muttered.

“Not gonna hurt you,” Vagabond whimpered, nuzzling into his neck, “Like you.”

Jeremy sighed, patting his head.

“Just sleep, sweetheart,” he murmured, “You’re too feverish to remember this anyway.”

Vagabond fell asleep, slumping heavily against him. 

The wolves almost shot Jeremy when he showed up, but clearly with Vagabond there, they didn’t want to risk it. Rider reached for Vagabond and Jeremy carefully lowered him into her arms. 

“He’s got a fever,” he muttered as she carried him toward his cabin, “He was in Bridgewhite’s basement for some reason.”

“And you rescued him, why?” King questioned, squinting at him.

“I still owed him,” Jeremy lied, “Sorry to disturb the peace, I’ll be off now.”

He turned the horse around and galloped from the camp. It had nothing to do with owing him. Jeremy just couldn’t stand the idea of him being alone, stuck in that basement. Vagabond didn’t deserve to be alone. He was so kind and warm. It wasn’t fair he had the misfortune of meeting Jeremy.

~

Ryan faded in and out of consciousness for three days before the fever finally went away. He was of course immediately embarrassed that he’d not only talked to Rimmy, but also shamelessly begged him to stay. And admitted he liked him. 

He’d been trying his hardest to be mad at Rimmy, instead of depressed that he wasn’t good enough. But Rimmy had said he _was_ good enough. There was another reason for him leaving. _Fear._ He was scared of Ryan hurting him. Ryan supposed that was fair. He was the Vagabond after all. He was meant to be intimidating. 

Though Ryan was pretty sure it wasn’t the physical intimidation working on Rimmy. It was probably that he was scared of emotional hurt. Ryan had a feeling Rimmy had been through a lot of pain. All kinds. He figured that’s why he felt so connected to him. He’d tried to dismiss that connection the first time Rimmy left as wishful thinking. But this time, he saved Ryan.

He had no reason to, but he did. He could’ve walked away, could’ve stolen whatever he was after and left, but he didn’t. As far as Ryan could recall, Rimmy hadn’t actually stolen anything either. He was totally out of it, but he had been all over Rimmy and all he had was his usual equipment. 

_He botched his job to save me._

~  


Jeremy never expected to be cornered by Bridgewhite’s pack. Or whatever they were. Gang? Posse? His people. 

He’d stupidly gone back for the prize he hadn’t collected, because he was a fucking idiot and ended up trapped in the room they’d put it in. _Surrounded._ He was quick, but his gun only had so many bullets and Bridgewhite had an insane amount of people. A dozen at least.

_So much for being smart._

Surrender appeared to be the best option. Jeremy stood straight, lifting his hands as his eyes scanned Bridgewhite’s people. 

“What kind of beast are you?” Someone asked, stepping from the crowd of people, “A wolf like the FAH Gang?”

_How did they even know that?_

“No,” Jeremy answered, “Mountain lion.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” the person announced.

“Is it?” Jeremy grunted, “You got a thing for cats?”

“No, but my employer does,” they responded, “Well, night night, kitty.”

Whatever hit Jeremy in the head made a nice thunk sound that was the last thing he heard before he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this shit is just starting. Y’all don’t even know.


	4. Chapter 4

Jeremy woke up in a cage. He touched the back of his head where it was throbbing, ignoring the heavy shackles on his wrists for the time being. As he expected, there was blood on his hand when he pulled it away. It didn’t seem to be gushing out of him though, possibly it had stopped bleeding already. He blinked away blurriness and blearily looked around. 

The cage was moving, attached to a wagon of sorts. It rattled as they bounced along the rough road. There were two other people in the cage with him, one smelled like a deer, the other a coyote. More shifters. There really were more than Jeremy had ever realized. Perhaps because he spent most of his time in the wild. _Alone._

Jeremy looked around at the people transporting and escorting them. Bridgewhite’s people. _Where are they taking us?_ He turned to the other two.

“Do you know what’s going on?” He muttered.

The coyote leaned toward him.

“They’re taking us to experiment on,” they explained quietly, “Someone’s trying to figure out how sickness works in shapeshifters.”

Jeremy frowned. 

“Why??” He wondered wildly.

The coyote shrugged.

“That’s all I overheard,” they admitted, “Sounds pretty scary though.”

The deer rapidly nodded their agreement. Jeremy noticed lights ahead and squinted at them. It looked like a camp of sorts. Tents and fires set up all around. It was set into a bit of a valley, surrounded by hills that would make it difficult to try to quickly escape from. Jeremy looked down at the shackles on his wrists. 

He might be able to break through them by shifting, but it seemed more likely that he’d just end up with them cutting off his circulation. He’d run faster than the humans could especially in animal form, but they were armed and on horses. They could catch up or just shoot him as he ran. Unless they weren’t allowed to for the experiments. After all, you can’t test sickness in a dead people. Or at least Jeremy didn’t think you could. 

They’d have to open the cage to get them into the camp, but then he’d be surrounded by people and hills. He wouldn’t make it out. His eyes darted around. But if he could get them to stop before the camp, he could make a break for it. He looked at the other two. How to tell them the plan without telling them? 

“Hey, I need to piss!” Jeremy called up to the driver of the wagon while still looking at the other shifters.

They both nodded shortly to indicate they understood.

“Hold it, cat, we’re nearly there,” the driver grumbled.

“I’m telling you, I can’t,” Jeremy protested, “If I could I’d not say something!”

“Great, now I have to piss too!” The coyote huffed.

“D-Don’t talk about it!” The deer whined, “Then I’ll have to!”

“Alright, alright!” The driver snapped, pulling the wagon to a stop, “Better make this quick!”

They came around to unlock the cage and the three shifters filed out. Jeremy slammed a fist into the driver’s temple, grabbing for the keys as they stumbled. The coyote slammed their shoulder into someone’s chest, grabbing for their gun. The deer kicked someone in the guts and grabbed the gun from their holster. Before the scene could get really messy, there was a gun against Jeremy’s temple.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He hissed at the coyote.

“You all know this is the most valuable of the three of us,” the coyote growled at their captors, “If this one dies, you should all be worried for your life. So no sudden movements or the cat seals everyone’s fate by splattering over this road. Unlock your shackles, then mine.”

They directed the last at Jeremy who carefully obeyed, unsure if they’d actually do it or not. They looped an arm around his middle and dragged him toward the deer who was quickly freed. After some shuffling and adjusting, the three of them were on two horses, the coyote holding Jeremy tightly to them.

“You try to follow, I will kill the cat then I will take as many of you down as I can,” they warned, “Then I’ll shoot myself and you can explain to your boss how you fucked up that badly.”

Then they were off, galloping into the night.

“Sorry, buddy,” the coyote muttered as they tucked away the gun, “Survival and all that.”

“Uh-huh,” Jeremy snorted.

They rode for awhile before Jeremy switched with the deer and they parted ways. Jeremy chose not to wonder who they were and how they knew each other. It was probably better if he didn’t worry about all that. 

How many shifters were being held in that camp? It was fairly large, there could be many. He thought back to Vagabond being sick in the basement of Bridgewhite’s place. Is it possible they knew and were trying to find the camp? Maybe they were trying to help rescue those shifters. 

_Shit. I messed up the job, didn’t I? I rescued him from where he’d **meant** to be. _Maybe he could still save it though. He knew the way to the camp, he could bring them there. He changed course and again hoped the FAH Gang was where he’d left them.

~

Ryan tried really hard not to get his hopes up when Rimmy showed up to the camp again. Of course he did and of course was disappointed again when Rimmy was there about the shifter killers and the Bridgewhite job. He was concerned he had ruined the job. He hadn’t. 

Actually Ryan might have died if he hadn’t stepped in. They hadn’t infected Ryan. They didn’t infect the shifters until they got them to the camp. Ryan had just legitimately gotten sick. Probably because they stripped him down and doused him in freezing water that they didn’t bother drying off before stuffing him in the basement. 

It was good Rimmy knew the way to the camp since the job hadn’t gone as planned. Ryan was supposed to get into the camp to discover the location and who was behind all this. Other than a fucking asshole. Infecting shifters just to study their healing process, torturing them with illness, some of them even dying. _Humans. All the same. Selfish, disgusting creatures._

“I suppose you’ll sleep with V again,” Geoff grunted, “Tomorrow we’ll go scout the place out.”

“I think it’s best I do not sleep with him,” Rimmy muttered, “I can sleep outside.”

Ryan resisted the urge to hum in annoyed disappointment. 

“Fuck no,” Geoff snorted, “You’re sleeping with one of us. We aren’t going to leave the silent thief alone in the camp.”

Rimmy sighed.

“Fine, I’ll sleep with Vagabond,” he agreed.

Ryan tried not to brighten up significantly as he led Rimmy to his cabin. He couldn’t help the urge to rub his face against Rimmy’s, hugging him around the middle.

“Why are you happy to see me?” Rimmy wondered, “Didn’t I hurt you?”

“Saved me,” Ryan mumbled, “You care.”

“N-No I don’t!” Rimmy huffed.

“Liar,” Ryan accused.

Rimmy sighed again.

“Let’s just go to bed,” he grumbled.

Ryan was very happy to do so, stripping down to his underwear and crawling into bed with Rimmy. He pulled Rimmy close to him, breathing in his scent and basking in his warmth. 

Rimmy was such a calming influence, despite the hurt he’d cause Ryan the first time he left. Now that Ryan understood why he’d left though, he didn’t feel hurt by it. He understood Rimmy was scared of hurting. Ryan was too. But he was more eager to have someone that understood him than scared of that connection hurting him in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is much faster pace than I meant for it to be, but oh well. 🤷


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy woke up to whimpering. Vagabond was twitching and whimpering in his sleep. _Nightmare._ He suddenly yanked Jeremy close to him, squeezing him tightly against him like he was trying to break Jeremy’s bones.

“V-Vagabond!” Jeremy wheezed, patting at his shoulder, “Y-You’re squeezing me! W-Wake up, p-please!”

Vagabond jerked awake, loosening his hold on Jeremy. He whimpered, rubbing his face against Jeremy’s. _Is this just how he always wakes up? Crushing whatever or whoever’s in his arms?_ Jeremy rubbed his back in a way he hoped was soothing. Vagabond really had seen more pain than he deserved. Then Jeremy burst into his life to just make everything worse for him. _I really am the worst._

Once he’d calmed down somewhat, Vagabond pulled back to kiss Jeremy. Jeremy pushed him away and got out of bed. _Don’t do this. You know what will happen._ Vagabond gripped at his underwear to stop him.

“You don’t have to stay after,” he mumbled, “You can have me and still leave. I’m okay with that.”

“You should value yourself more,” Jeremy muttered.

He pulled away and put on his clothes. Vagabond didn’t get up as Jeremy dressed and exited the cabin. Jeremy rubbed his side to remind himself of the pain he was trying to avoid for the both of them. He was just going to help save the other shifters and go back into the wilderness. No more cities and humans and other shifters, he thought. He would stay away from the world for awhile.

~

Vagabond followed closely behind Jeremy as they snuck through the camp. Jeremy wondered why they needed him. Vagabond could do this on his own. He didn’t need Jeremy to guide him, they’d all see the camp themselves. And he certainly didn’t need help slitting throats. Jeremy was just one more body to worry about. 

They stopped at the house at the center of the camp and Jeremy peeked in a window. The room was dark with three metal tables lined up in the center. It was unoccupied, making it the perfect room to infiltrate. He flicked open his knife and opened the latch on the window. He glanced around to ensure Vagabond was there and paying attention before he carefully slid the window open. The smell of metal wafted from the window as he carefully made sure it would stay up on its own.

He slipped inside and was distracted from watching Vagabond slip through by the fact his feet were wet. He looked down in surprise to see the floor was nearly entirely covered in blood. The cloth he used to wrap his feet instantly reddened as the blood spread through it. Vagabond’s boots landed beside his feet and he looked up. Vagabond’s eyebrows were together and his eyes reflected the tiny amount of light filtering through the darkness as they looked down at the floor.

Jeremy carefully slid the window shut, swallowing thickly as the oppressive smell of metal began to weigh on him. _Blood._ The blood of part animal, part human. He swayed, pressing his palm to his temple. _Blood and sickness._ The smell was all too familiar to him.

Vagabond squeezed his shoulder and Jeremy shook himself, refocusing on the task at hand. They crept to the door, trying not to make too much noise by avoiding the puddles as much as possible. They crept through the house, carefully picking off guards and collecting spare keys as they made their way to the head of the camp, the only one with all the keys to the rooms, the shackles, _and_ the cages. 

Vagabond didn’t give them time to beg for their life. Jeremy appreciated it. He was already sick to his stomach. A pathetic lowlife pleading for mercy might actually make him puke. They took the keys and started by freeing the shifters in the house. Most of them were much too sick to do much but sit and wait, but a few were able to get on their feet and follow them from the house to the closest group of shifters. 

The ones outside the house were much less sick and injured and within a few minutes, Jeremy was directing a small militia. They passed what keys they had copies of between the stealthier of the shifters and they quickly spread through the camp. The less stealthy of them coordinated to attack the guards when they heard the signal.

Jeremy, Vagabond, and few of the others moved on to the cages as they let the rest handle the shackled shifters in the tents. The stronger and more aggressive of the shifters had been locked in the cages to contain them better. They quickly and quietly took care of the cage guards and freed the caged shifters. Jeremy raised his eyebrows at the familiar coyote.

“Long time no see, kitty,” they muttered, “Suppose this’ll be a second debt I owe you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jeremy snorted as he freed them.

“Did you see my companion?” They asked quietly.

“No, but we’ve got the whole camp getting freed as we speak,” Jeremy assured them, “If they’re here, they’ll be free.”

After coordinating with the caged shifters, Vagabond gave the signal, which was a howl. The camp seemed to explode with sudden fighting. At least fifty shifters against a few dozen humans was hardly fair to the poor humans. The fight was over nearly before it began. No human was left alive. 

Jeremy edged away from the crowd as they all gathered up. His part was done, the shifters were free. He went back to the house, carefully maneuvering around the shifters being patched and healed as well as they could so they’d be safe for transport. He moved to the office where the head of the camp still laid dead over their desk. 

He wanted to know why they wanted mountain lions above all others. He looked through the desk, finding a journal and a stack of letters he thought might be useful. If he could read. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he’d bothered looking. Without being able to read, he couldn’t learn much from anything. Still, he tucked them away and moved on, scouring the rest of the house for any more clues. 

When he couldn’t stand the stench of sickness, blood, and death any longer, he climbed out the attic window to the roof. He watched the shifters bustling about below him, loading up in wagons and coordinating with the FAH Gang to get out of there. They planned to go to the little corner of the west the FAH Gang occupied and start setting up camp. Actually, it seemed like they were going to set up a town. 

“Go away,” he muttered as Vagabond joined him.

Vagabond sat beside him.

“You know, we could use another pair of hands to help build our little town,” he suggested, “You could help out a bit and leave afterwards. Then maybe come by for a few visits?”

Jeremy looked over at him and he looked back. He tugged down the mask so Jeremy could see his light smile.

“You’re determined to have me hurt you, aren’t you?” Jeremy snorted.

Vagabond laughed, shaking his head.

“Maybe I am,” he mused, “Or maybe I know you’re not actually going to hurt me.”

“Haven’t I already?” Jeremy pointed out.

“I was hurt at first,” Vagabond admitted, “But I realized why you left. And I understand. I can accept seeing you only occasionally, I can accept you’ll need to be alone, and I can accept that at times you will push me away.”

He leaned forward and took Jeremy’s face in one hand. Jeremy couldn’t help but lean into his warm touch. 

“My choice is to be with you anyway,” Vagabond whispered, “Because I really like you and I feel a connection with you unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”

He brushed his thumb over Jeremy’s cheek and bumped his forehead into Jeremy’s.

“My name is Ryan,” he breathed, “And I offer my name to you because I know you will not hurt me. Please, give me a chance to show you that I will not hurt you either.”

Jeremy laid his hand over Ryan’s, heart racing. He needed to reject him and push him away. He needed to run as fast as he could and never look back. He needed to hide, to isolate himself, needed to be alone. He needed to be safe. He opened his mouth to scream a rejection.

“Okay,” he whispered.

Ryan tilted his head and pressed a light kiss to his lips. Jeremy’s heart pounded in his chest as they kissed. _One chance, Ryan. I give you one chance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after.   
> HAHAHAHA


	6. Chapter 6

Jeremy was grateful to be back at the FAH camp. After all the shifter business, he was ready to relax. Of course the others all wanted to celebrate after they’d set up camp. He watched the other shifters bustling about having a good time for a bit before he retreated to Ryan’s cabin. 

Ryan was right behind him, clearly eager to go to bed with him. This theory was reinforced when he kissed Jeremy urgently. Jeremy pressed back, guiding him towards the bed and Ryan went easily. They left a trail of equipment and clothes from the door to the bed and broke apart when Ryan bumped into it. Ryan turned and bent himself over the bed, spreading his thighs to give Jeremy room to stand between them. 

The amount of trust Ryan put in Jeremy to submit to him like that without hesitance was terrifying. Enough to give Jeremy pause before he stuck his fingers in his mouth to coat them in spit. Ryan shuddered as Jeremy pressed his slick fingers to his asshole. He gripped at the sheets and snarled as one of Jeremy’s fingers pressed inside him. His lower back dipped, pressing his ass back onto Jeremy’s finger and he groaned. 

“M-More, more!” He huffed impatiently.

“Patience, pup,” Jeremy scolded as he worked the finger in and out of Ryan, “If I’m not careful, I could break you.”

Ryan groaned again, another shudder rippling through his body. Some dark part of Jeremy wondered how hard he had to fuck Ryan to break him. His hand smoothed over Ryan’s hip as he slipped a second finger inside him. Ryan whined in pain, but rocked back on Jeremy’s fingers anyway. Jeremy was starting to get a bit impatient himself, watching Ryan’s body open up to him. He spread his fingers in Ryan, struggling to maintain focus as Ryan shuddered and groaned under him.

Once he was pretty sure he wouldn’t break him, he rubbed more spit over his cock and gripped Ryan’s hip as he guided it into him. Ryan’s body tensed as it pressed inside, rocking up like he was trying to escape without actually escaping. He bit down on the sheets and his knuckles cracked as he gripped them tightly. A strangled, choked off scream worked its way through his clenched teeth into the cloth as Jeremy pushed forward. He let out a miserable sob and relaxed slightly as Jeremy’s hips pressed to his ass. 

“Good boy,” Jeremy breathed, rubbing his hands over Ryan’s hips, “You’re doing so well, pup.”

Ryan just cried pitifully and the darkness in Jeremy pulsed hotly in his blood. He gripped Ryan’s hips tightly as he pulled back and pushed forward. Ryan choked on sobs as Jeremy fucked him, wailing like a baby, no doubt from how painful it was. Jeremy was starting to worry that he was going too far when Ryan screamed one word that dropped the worry and sent the darkness shooting through every part of him.

“More!” 

Jeremy gripped Ryan’s hair around the loose tie and yanked Ryan’s head back.

“Demanding little bitch,” he snarled as his hips slammed into Ryan’s ass, “You take what I give you.”

Ryan made a noise like a sob and a moan combined and Jeremy shoved his head back down, pushing his hair out of the way. Then he bit down hard on the back of Ryan’s neck. Ryan shrieked in pain and flexed into his brutal thrusting. 

“Yes, cl-claim me!” He cried, “M-Mark me as yours! I-I’m your bitch! Yes yes _yes!_

His hips thrust against Jeremy’s urgently. Jeremy was panting heavily, hissing out curses as he fucked into Ryan’s hot, tight ass. He was so submissive, so willing. Jeremy growled and his hips faltered as he filled Ryan’s ass.

Ryan moaned, legs falling outward as though he was trying to spread them further open. His hips continued to move weakly as Jeremy caught his breath. He kissed the bite mark gently and rubbed a soothing hand over Ryan’s hip. 

“Good boy,” he praised, “You were so good for me.”

Ryan whimpered pathetically. 

“Shh, I’ve got you, pup,” Jeremy soothed, “Just relax.”

He carefully pulled back and turned Ryan onto his back. He put his hand under Ryanto make sure his semen didn’t drip on the bed and knelt down. Ryan cried out as his mouth closed on his cock and his hips jerked up impatiently. Jeremy moved, sliding his mouth up and down on Ryan’s cock. 

Ryan’s back arched off the bed. It didn’t take long for Ryan to get close, his whole body winding up. Jeremy sucked around him and Ryan’s thighs squeezed and he practically screamed as he released into Jeremy’s throat. He flopped down, going limp and panting heavily as Jeremy swallowed everything he had to offer.

Jeremy pulled off slowly and moved around, looking for handkerchief to clean him up with. Ryan stayed limp as Jeremy cleaned him up and moved him so his head was laying on his pillow. Jeremy crawled into bed beside him and pulled him close. Ryan rubbed his face into his chest, humming contentedly.

“You’re so cute,” Jeremy chuckled.

He brushed hair from Ryan’s face and kissed his forehead. He was crying, he suddenly realized, but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he realized he wasn’t just scared of getting hurt any more. Now he was terrified of hurting Ryan too. He was worthless garbage and he was going to hurt Ryan again, precious, perfect Ryan. He was the worst.

~

Ryan wasn’t surprised that he woke up alone, but he was a bit sad anyway. It would’ve been nice to wake up in Rimmy’s arms after such a passionate night. But Ryan had been telling the truth when he said he could accept him as he was. 

He grunted as he sat up, scowling as pain shot up from his ass. His hips were sore too. No doubt he’d get some teasing from his pack, for being Rimmy’s bitch. He shuddered. _W_ _orth it._ God, it was worth ten times the physical pain and the ridicule he’d get for it. 

Rimmy was so good. Ryan would spread his legs for him over and over again. And the thing he did with his mouth, Ryan didn’t even know that was a thing someone could do. He hoped Rimmy would come back often. Once a week was too much to ask. Once a month, maybe?

Ryan stretched as he stood and got his clothes on. He was starving. Definitely further proof he had a great night. He thought he could smell something cooking too. He was sure to get his mask up before leaving his cabin, wary of the other shifters nearby. He limped toward the fire pit, yawning and rubbing at his tired eyes.

“Oh, good morning!”

Ryan looked up in surprise.

“I was going to bring you breakfast,” Rimmy muttered as he stood up, “You, uh, should rest, right?”

“You’re...here,” Ryan murmured, “I thought you...left.”

“I just went hunting,” Rimmy explained as he guided Ryan back to his cabin, “I thought I’d get breakfast before you woke.”

“Um, okay,” Ryan mumbled.

Rimmy pushed him back in bed and left to finish breakfast. Ryan stared at the ceiling in surprise. No one had ever hunted and cooked breakfast for him after sex before. _Did I...do better? Did I do worse?_ Rimmy returned with stew that smelled heavenly and propped Ryan up against his legs to put the pillow under his sore ass. He played with Ryan’s hair while he ate the stew.

“Was I...too rough?” He asked quietly.

Ryan shook his head, leaning back to smile up at him.

“You were amazing,” he assured him.

Rimmy puffed out a relieved sigh. Ryan grinned.

“You care about me,” he cooed, reaching up to poke his nose, “You’re so cute.”

“N-No!” Rimmy huffed, batting his hand away.

Ryan laughed. Maybe there would be less to worry about than he expected. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might seem like Jeremy’s aggressiveness comes out of nowhere, because originally Jeremy was gonna display more aggressiveness previously in the fic, but I ended up toning it down. So sorry if that’s a bit jarring. 😅


	7. Chapter 7

Jeremy wiped sweat off his forehead as he traipsed over to sit in the shade of the nearby trees. He watched the others working a moment while he caught his breath. It’d been less than a week and Fake Town, as they’d started calling it, was built enough to be called a town. There were many houses already built. The saloon was built, everyone seemed particularly happy about that. They had a storehouse too, full of food and other supplies for everyone to share. The sheriff’s office/jail was started and the schoolhouse was almost fully built.

Jeremy tried not to think about the young ones that had been in the camp nor about the young ones who had to be found where they were hiding, waiting for their parents to come back. _Poor little cubs._ It wasn’t fair for them to suffer like that. But then again, he supposed that was the way of life. Apparently especially for shifters. 

The way Ryan told it, shifters were constantly facing persecution by humans. Nothing as serious as the sick camp, but enough that Ryan hated humans. Understandable, Jeremy figured, if they really were that bad. He hadn’t really interacted with humans until very recently. And then most of his interaction was stealing from them while they never saw him. He was lucky in that regard, apparently.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure he really cared _that_ much about the other shifters. He was glad they were free and he hadn’t liked that they were suffering, but as a whole, it really didn’t matter to him what happened next. And the town made him sick. He hated being around so many people. So many potential threats. So much hurt to be had by all. It didn’t help everyone kept using the word “family” to describe them. A big family, they said. A massive threat, he heard. He rubbed his palm against his throbbing temple. He wanted to get the hell out of there, but he couldn’t. 

Ryan sat down behind him and pulled him back to his chest, between his legs. Jeremy puffed out a shaky breath and leaned his head against Ryan’s chest. Ryan propped his chin on Jeremy’s head and wrapped his arms around him. Jeremy obviously wasn’t staying for the other shifters. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Ryan murmured, “Maybe we could build you a cabin in the forest.”

Jeremy hummed thoughtfully. 

“You could be isolated,” Ryan continued, “But nearby.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Jeremy agreed, “Good thing one of us is smart.”

Ryan chuckled and moved his head down to rub his cheek against Jeremy’s. 

“Thank you so much for staying,” he whispered, “I know it isn’t easy for you. I’ll do my best to be good to you in return.”

He pulled Jeremy closer, pressing him more firmly against him.

“I promise you can have me any time,” he breathed in Jeremy’s ear, “I’ll be very good and spread my legs for you whenever you want.”

Jeremy felt guilt squeeze his insides.

“Ry...you don’t have to do that to make me stay,” he mumbled.

“Maybe not,” Ryan conceded, “But I want to do it, regardless. It would just be extra if it _did_ make you stay.”

Jeremy rubbed his cheek against Ryan’s.

“Really, I’m going to stay,” he assured him, “You don’t have to do anything to make me stay.”

Ryan squeezed him tightly. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring himself to. Instead he just nuzzled his face in Jeremy’s neck and sighed. 

“There is much ahead,” he murmured, “But behind us is more than we realize.”

Jeremy squeezed his wrists lightly. Yes, that was probably right.

“Why don’t we take a break and scout the forest?” Ryan suggested, “We can find a place for your cabin.”

“Okay.”

They got up and started into the forest, quickly moving out of range of the bustle of the town being built behind them. It was peaceful, the gentle sounds of critters and insects softer against Jeremy’s pounding brain. His headache eased and he relaxed a bit as they walked over the underbrush. They searched through the trees for a place just big enough to squeeze a small cabin in. 

“How about here?” Ryan suggested, pointing out such a place, “That creek is pretty nearby too. A cabin for one could fit here.”

“How about for two?” Jeremy countered quietly.

“There’s probably enough-“ Ryan started then stopped.

He turned to Jeremy and grabbed his hand in both of his.

“Really??” He demanded, “Y-You want me to live with you??”

He paused, frowning.

“This...this is too soon...isn’t it?” He murmured.

Jeremy wondered how Ryan already knew everything. How Jeremy would react, how he felt, what he was able to do, what he wasn’t. Ryan seemed to have all the answers on Jeremy while Jeremy was clueless about both of them.

“It is,” Jeremy agreed, “I’m not ready yet, but...I _will_ be. I want to prepare for that day.”

Ryan picked him up in a hug, squeezing him tightly.

“R-Ry! Y-You’re squeezing me again!” Jeremy huffed, “P-Put me down!”

Ryan put him back on his feet and rubbed his face against Jeremy’s, holding him loosely around the waist. 

“I’m so happy,” he admitted, “No one’s ever suggested we’d be together for a long time.”

_Oh, Ryan, you precious angel, you never deserved to be in pain._ Jeremy put his arms around him and held him close. _Me? Of course I deserve pain. But not you._

“You do care about me!” Ryan teased. 

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy huffed.

“Never,” Ryan laughed. 

He pulled back to kiss Jeremy, bringing his hand up to hold his face. Jeremy felt tension in his chest ease up. Why was being with Ryan so easy when everyone was too difficult, too scary to handle? Ryan brushed his thumb over Jeremy’s cheek as they parted. 

“Ryan,” Jeremy whispered as their foreheads pressed together, “My name is Jeremy.”

Ryan pulled back in surprise then smiled warmly, his blue eyes akin to the sky on a warm summer’s day.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jeremy,” he murmured.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Ryan,” Jeremy returned.

They kissed again. _This is so easy and beautiful and right,_ Jeremy thought. It was so good something _had_ to go wrong.

~

Ryan rubbed his back with a grunt. Building a town was tiring work. Jeremy was hunting and wouldn’t be back until later. Which was too bad. Ryan would probably be asleep by the time he got back. Then he wouldn’t get any conscious naked cuddling in. Or sex. Which he was ready for. All healed up from the first time. Actually, maybe he should just wait up a bit.

He pulled off his shirt and tossed it before starting to unbutton his underwear. His eye caught something silver next to where his shirt landed. He frowned as he moved over, unbuttoning as he went. A book, no a _journal_ with silver letters embossed on the front. Irina Pavlov. _Who the hell is Irina Pavlov?? Where the hell did this come from??_ He opened the journal to check the inside cover for information. Inside was a handwritten note.

_Dear Ira,_

_When your thoughts are cloudy, let them be writ here, for you are the only who would hear them right._

_Your devoted,_

_Jemima Dooley_

Ryan frowned at the journal. _Well, that provided no answers._ In fact, it only raised more questions. He looked where the journal had been laying and found a bundle of letters. He picked them up and found them all addressed to John Addison, whoever the hell that was, from Ira Pavlov. He looked between them in confusion. _Wait, if they’re not mine..._

_They must belong to Jeremy._

Ryan quickly put them back where they had been and continued removing his clothes. They were personal, not for Ryan to read. Ryan wondered when on earth he’d gotten them though. He didn’t remember seeing them before, but that was where Jeremy dropped his clothes, so they were probably hidden by them usually. 

There was a heap of questions Ryan wanted to ask, but thought would be pretty personal. Or at least it seemed like it. Either way, it seemed better to stay out of it unless Jeremy invited him in. Especially since Jeremy had _just_ earlier implied they’d be together for a while. Ryan smiled as he laid down to wait for him. Maybe even _forever.  
_

_I just have to be good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fiiiiine and goodddd.


	8. Chapter 8

Ryan was asleep when Jeremy came back from hunting. Not having a nightmare, it seemed. Jeremy hesitated, not wanting to wake him from his peaceful sleep. _Maybe I’ll just sit up a bit._ He settled next to the bed, putting his back against it and noted the journal and letters he’d gotten from the camp had been moved slightly. Ryan must’ve noticed them.

Jeremy had already looked over everything, hoping there were non-word clues he could gather, but had found nothing. He wasn’t really sure why he cared so much, maybe just curiosity, but he couldn’t shake the feeling it was important somehow. He picked up the journal and ran his thumb over the silver letters on the front. 

“Who is she?” Ryan suddenly asked, startling Jeremy.

He shifted over, propping his chin on Jeremy’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t going to ask,” he mumbled, “But I can’t help but be curious. You don’t have to answer of course, but is she someone special to you?”

“Uh, who?” Jeremy grunted, awkwardly turning his head to look at him.

“Irina Pavlov,” Ryan answered, poking the silver letters, “I assumed she must be if you have her journal.”

Jeremy looked at where he poked the letters then back at him.

“You can read?!” He demanded.

Ryan pulled away to frown at him.

“Yes, of course,” he answered, “Can’t you?”

“No! I...lived in the wild my whole life,” Jeremy explained, “And...my mother...”

His hands squeezed the journal tightly.

“I-I don’t know if she could read,” he admitted, “But...she was too sick to teach me if she did.”

“I’m sorry,” Ryan murmured, squeezing his shoulder, “That must have been difficult. I could...teach you, if you like.”

Jeremy relaxed under Ryan’s reassuring touch.

“M-Maybe,” he mumbled, “But can you read this for me? I got it from the camp and I want to know why they wanted mountain lion shifters.”

He held up the journal.

“Of course!” Ryan chirped, sitting up, “I’d be happy to help.”

He took the journal and flipped it open. Jeremy waited patiently as Ryan read through it. Ryan frowned and the frown deepened the further he read. The writings ended before the journal did, but Ryan flipped through the blank pages to be sure there was nothing left. 

“Hand me the letters, please,” he requested.

Jeremy handed them over and waited again while Ryan read through them. When he was done, he put everything back in order and hummed thoughtfully.

“It looks like Ira, the owner of the journal, had a shifter as a lover,” he explained, “Jemima, a mountain lion like you. She got sick. It started with nosebleeds. Then fainting. Then she lost strength in her limbs. Now she can barely move, she struggles to eat, and coughs up blood.”

Jeremy swallowed thickly, wrapping his arms around his guts. 

“Ira is sure she will die soon if she can’t find a cure,” Ryan continued, “So she tasked Bridgewhite with finding shifters and Addison with experimenting on them. She sent Addison the journal because it details Jemima’s sickness. She was hoping it might help if they were on the lookout for the sickness she suffers specifically. But these letters, I don’t think she realized exactly what Addison was doing. Though she is getting more and more desperate for a cure.”

“There isn’t one,” Jeremy whispered.

“How do you know that?” Ryan wondered.

“Because my mother died from it,” Jeremy murmured, “And her mother also died from it and her mother. We all searched for cures. There is none to be found.”

He bent over his clenching, rolling stomach. Ryan slipped off the bed to kneel beside him. Jeremy turned and buried his face in Ryan’s chest. Ryan held him closely, pressing a kiss in his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I’m sorry.”

Jeremy trembled in his arms. He wanted to throw up or scream or _something,_ but nothing came out.

~~~

Jeremy huffed breathlessly as he made his way to the shade again. Building a town was not easy. He supposed that was to be expected. He wasn’t used to all this heavy lifting. Building a building by lifting and carrying heavy lumber was a lot different than say, pulling himself up on a window sill or picking Ryan up. 

He watched Ryan helping carry logs to be cut down into lumber. Damn, he was strong. It made it all the more satisfying when he submitted to Jeremy. Not that he’d done any submitting since the week or so prior when they’d first gotten back from the camp. Though he’d dropped a few “I’ll be good for you” type comments since then. And he’d whimpered Jeremy’s name in his sleep a few times while his cock poked Jeremy. 

But Jeremy was terrified of bending him over again. Especially since two days ago when he learned about that other mountain lion, being reminded of his mother. He had hurt inside of him and he was terrified he’d push that hurt on Ryan. Ryan‘s thighs suggested he’d suffered punishment that he definitely didn’t deserve. What if Jeremy hurt him like whoever whipped him had? Ryan had given him a second chance, he couldn’t hurt him again. 

But damn did Ryan look good, bending over at the water barrel. He actually drank water through the cloth mask which was impressive in Jeremy’s opinion. BrownMan joined him as he stood up to drink his cup of water. 

They were close, Jeremy thought, or at least closer than Ryan with the others. Which was saying something. Ryan clearly had a lot of love for his pack. Despite his silent mysterious vibe, when he was around them, he was just a playful cub. It was very cute. Especially when they ran around, playing in wolf form. Jeremy wished he was better at being around the others. He’d declined the offer to join the pack, unable to find himself fitting in with them. 

BrownMan left and Ryan scooped up another cup of water. He brought it over to Jeremy, plopping down in front of him to hand it over. Jeremy took it gratefully and Ryan tugged down his mask to smile at him. 

“Do you want to take a break with me?” He offered.

“Okay.”

Jeremy returned the cup to the water barrel and followed Ryan into the woods again. They’d cleared out the area for the cabin and were planning to begin building once the sheriff’s office was complete. It nearly was, but most notably needed the metal for the jail cells inside. They were having a little trouble getting the right tools for the job plus the resources. Some of the shifters had struck out to take care of it though, so soon it would be handled. Then Jeremy and Ryan could begin their cabin.

It had only been a couple days, but they’d already returned to the spot many times. They especially liked to have meals on the spot. It was nice. Peaceful. And it was good to be reminded of what they were looking forward to. Jeremy looked up at the small patch of the blue sky, surrounded by the trees around their spot.

_There is much ahead, but behind us is more than we realize._

He smiled.

~

Ryan relaxed when he saw Jeremy relax, smiling up at the sky. He was doing his best to be good, but he didn’t know exactly how to be. He’d never been with anyone like this before. But the cabin was clean, he made sure Jeremy had food, and took breaks with him when he looked like he was struggling. 

Ryan moved closer to Jeremy, putting his arms around his waist and rubbing his face against his. Jeremy looked back down, rubbing his face back. 

“You’re very sweet, Ryan,” he murmured, “Thank you for giving me a chance to be better.”

“You gave me a chance,” Ryan disagreed.

“Maybe we both got a chance,” Jeremy offered.

“Alright, I guess I can agree,” Ryan hummed.

“Thank you for being patient with me too,” Jeremy added.

Ryan shook his head. 

“I should thank you for staying even though I’m not being good enough,” he mumbled.

Jeremy pulled back and took his face in his hands.

“Ryan, I told you,” he spoke firmly, “You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to be “good”. Just being here with me is more than enough.”

Ryan tried to believe that. He really tried, but it just didn’t fit right in his mind. _How will I know for sure that you’ll stay if I’m not being good?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean really, there’s no setup for sadness here. This can only possibly end well. :D


	9. Chapter 9

Jeremy wished he could make Ryan understand that he was perfect as he was, that he didn’t need to do anything. But he didn’t know how except to just keep telling him and hope with time he’d believe it. He sighed and laid his head against Ryan’s chest. _Time._ They just needed time. Ryan held him closely, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Jeremy didn’t realize he’d drifted off to sleep until he was suddenly jostled awake. 

“Jeremy, wake up!” Ryan hissed, shaking him, “Something’s wrong!”

Jeremy sat up, bleary and confused. He could hear a very, very distant ruckus, too far away to know for sure what it was. Ryan hurried to get up, dragging Jeremy up and immediately running back towards Fake Town, pulling Jeremy along for it. Jeremy blinked heavily, struggling to get his head working as he stumbled along after him. 

Suddenly, a howl ripped through the air and Ryan skidded to a halt. 

“Wh-What?” Jeremy huffed, “What is it?”

Ryan listened to the distant sounds of the ruckus a moment.

“The humans,” he muttered, “They’re after you.”

“You can hear them from here??” Jeremy demanded.

“No, but I can hear Ray,” Ryan answered, “He’s calling to me. Warning me.”

He turned around, pushing Jeremy back the way they’d come.

“We have to get you out of here,” he grunted, “They’re after you.”

“What about the others?” Jeremy asked, “Are they okay?”

_The cubs, are they safe?_

“They will be fine,” Ryan assured him.

Jeremy planted his feet.

“They’re hurting them, aren’t they?” He guessed, “I can’t let them get hurt over me!” 

“They are not,” Ryan insisted, trying to push Jeremy but making no headway, “They are keeping them there, but once they find you are not there, they will probably let them go.”

“Probably?” Jeremy repeated, crossing his arms.

“Humans are...unpredictable,” Ryan admitted.

“I can’t leave knowing the cubs could be hurt over me,” Jeremy argued, moving around Ryan.

“I do not think Ira would let the young ones be hurt,” Ryan protested, keeping a hold of his hand.

“Yes, well, they got hurt before, did they not?” Jeremy pointed out as dragged Ryan along, “I don’t care about the others, but the cubs, they don’t deserve to be hurt for what they are. It’s not fair for their childhoods to be stolen by this.”

“Jeremy, they could kill you!” Ryan countered, “They probably _will_ torture you!”

”So what?!” Jeremy huffed, “They are innocent! _I_ am not!”

“Please don’t leave me!” Ryan cried, suddenly stopping, “Please! I-I can be good, I promise!”

Jeremy turned back, grabbing his face.

“Look at me, Ryan,” he ordered.

Ryan turned his teary eyes up to look at him.

“I’m not leaving you,” Jeremy assured him firmly, “You’re coming with me. You said Ira could be reasonable, right? We can go talk to her. Together. Okay?”

Ryan nodded. 

“And you are good, okay?” Jeremy added, “You don’t have to do anything, I’m happy with you as you are. I will tell you as many times as it takes to get to you: you are good as you are.”

“I-I am?” Ryan sniffled, rubbing at his tears.

“Yes, you’re good,” Jeremy insisted, “There’s nothing you need to do to keep me with you, because you’re already good at your heart. Do you understand, pup?”

“I-I think so,” Ryan mumbled.

Jeremy pulled him to kiss him firmly.

“Now let’s go,” he insisted, “Let’s try to fix this without more suffering.”

Ryan nodded, pulling his mask up and they started running toward town again.

~

When they were past the tree line and getting close to the others, Jeremy suddenly stopped, freezing in place. Ryan frowned at him, squeezing his hand. Jeremy sniffed at the air, face blank.

“Mother?” He whispered.

He started forward, hesitantly. Ryan followed, concerned. _Mother? Isn’t his mother dead?_

“We just need to speak with the cat,” someone was explaining to the gathered up shifters, “Please. We wish him no harm.”

Jeremy was walking towards them as the shifters all told them varying ways to get out with varying amounts of cursing. As they got closer, Ryan was pretty sure this was Ira. She was tall and thin, with short blonde hair. Ryan may have mistaken her for a man if not for the fact she was holding a journal that matched the one currently in his cabin.  


Jeremy made a straight path right to her and she looked around at his approach.  He gripped her coat and pulled her to him, sniffling at her chest. Ryan tugged at his hand.

“J-Jeremy, humans don’t like when you do that,” he muttered.

“I-It’s okay,” Ira assured him, “He just wants to know who he can smell on me. It’s Jemima, she’s a mountain lion like you. She’s sick. That’s why I was trying to find you.”

“We know,” Ryan spoke up, “We found your journal at Addison’s camp.”

Ira shuddered.

“That awful...” she murmured, “We were supposed to...talk and ask for help. I...don’t blame all of you for hating me, mistrusting me. I can’t believe what they did. I never meant for...for _that_ to happen.”

“I was beginning to suspect as much,” Ryan muttered, “Your letters were-seriously, Jeremy, get off her.”

He pulled Jeremy away from where he’d buried his face in her breasts.

“That is very rude,” he grumbled.

“Mother,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Jeremy, she is not your mother,” Ryan whispered, putting his hand on his cheek, “What is happening right now? Talk to me.”

“I can smell her,” Jeremy breathed.

He yanked Ira close to him by the hand still fisted in her coat.

“Take me to her!” He growled.

“I-okay,” Ira agreed, “However, I do not think you will find her to be your mother.”

She ordered her people to back off and led Jeremy and Ryan to a couple of horses. Ryan got on one with Jeremy to try to keep him calm, squeezing him to his chest. _Is it just because the other shifter is sick and female? Maybe that’s enough to make him believe she is his mother?_ Perhaps grief was clouding Jeremy’s senses. Any way it was, Ryan was worried about the blank, distant look on Jeremy’s face. He held him closer. _Tell me what you need._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, is that a plot twist I smell? Or just really bad BO?
> 
> Anyway, I’m considering a new posting schedule that might seem a bit confusing. I’m considering working on four stories at once, posting them half and half on alternating days. So I’d post stories one and two on the first day, then stories three and four on the second day, then back to one and two on the third day, and so on. (Just to be extra clear: I would still be posting only two chapters daily.)
> 
> This is mostly because I have sooo many stories in the works rn and I want to work on a bigger variety while still maintaining a productive posting schedule. I might test it out with the current two stories and two new ones, but I still haven’t decided yet. If you have questions or suggestions for me, please comment! I am saying all this because I want to hear your thoughts!


	10. Chapter 10

Jeremy sat on the bed beside the other shifter, Jemima. Ryan watched, hesitant and completely uncertain of how to handle this situation. She...looked like Jeremy. But she wasn’t old enough to be his mother, he didn’t think. They actually looked to be about the same age, though maybe she had a few years on him. It was hard to tell with how much like a corpse she looked. 

Ira sat on the other side of her and took her thin hand.

“Jemma?” She called softly, “I brought the other mountain lion to see you. You remember, the one I told you about?”

She brushed her hand over Jemima’s hair, but the woman did not respond. Jeremy leaned over her and pressed his cheek to her throat, pushing his head under her chin. Ryan stepped forward, unsure if this was okay, but Ira waved him down. Jeremy laid his hand over her heart.

“Sister,” he whispered.

Ryan frowned. _Sister?_ Jemima twitched.

“Brother,” she rasped.

Ryan’s eyebrows went up. _Wait. They’re actually related??_ Jeremy pulled back to nose at Jemima’s face. Her eyes cracked open and Ira sat forward, eyes widening in surprise. According to her journal, Jemima rarely ever opened her eyes, even when she was responsive. Jeremy lifted up to look into her eyes.

“How?” He wondered.

_How what??_

“Jour-nal,” Jemima answered.

Jeremy bumped his forehead into hers.

“Sister,” he mumbled thickly.

“Brother,” she breathed, “Ira.”

Ira sat further forward, squeezing her hand.

“I’m here,” she murmured tearfully.

“Love,” Jemima just barely managed to rasp out.

“I-I love you too, Jemma,” Ira returned, tears flowing down her face.

Jemima closed her eyes and fell back asleep. After a few minutes, Jeremy and Ira pulled away and all three of them stepped out of the room. Ira beckoned them to follow her to another room where she retrieved a journal to hand over to Jeremy. 

“Jemma said...she had a brother, a twin who died the day they were born,” she murmured, “I presume this is not the case and you are that twin.”

Jeremy held the journal to his chest.

“Mother...never said I had a sister,” he admitted, “But I smelled her scent. It is so similar to my mother’s.”

He look tired and confused and worried. Ryan squeezed his shoulder.

“I imagine the answers are in that journal,” he muttered.

“Yes, I think so,” Jeremy agreed.

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you like,” Ira assured them, “Jemma’s family is my family.”

“Thank you,” Jeremy murmured, smiling weakly.

Ira led them to a guest room and they sat on the bed. Ryan didn’t really know what to do. This had to be a very confusing and uncertain time for Jeremy. Ryan squeezed his shoulder and Jeremy crawled into his lap, burying his face in Ryan’s chest and holding the journal tightly to his own. Ryan put his arms around him and rubbed his cheek into his hair. This all seemed very unfair. _When will you find the peace you deserve, Jeremy?_

~

Jeremy didn’t ask Ryan to read the journal right away. He spent most of his time with his sister for the following two days before he finally sat with Ryan on the bed and handed him the journal. 

“Are you sure?” Ryan questioned, “I can teach you to read, so you can read it yourself.”

Jeremy shook his head.

“Alright,” Ryan murmured, “If you’re sure.”

Jeremy nodded. Ryan opened the journal.

“Should I read everything?” He asked, “Or summarize like I did with Ira’s?”

“Everything,” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan nodded and began to read the journal aloud.

**Thirty Years Ago**

“They’re beautiful,” Jessica Dooley whispered tearfully as she looked at newly born Jeremy in her arms.

“Such strong little cubs too,” Jedidiah Dooley added, gently rocking Jemima in his arms, “Mrs. Dooley you have outdone yourself.”

“Can I see my brother and sister?” Jericho Dooley asked, climbing onto his mother’s bed.

“How about you hold Jemima?” Jedidiah offered.

Jericho sat still, accepting his little sister into his arms.

“She’s so little!” He gasped.

His face suddenly set in an adorable look of determination.

“Don’t worry, little sister, I’ll protect you no matter what!” He assured the tiny bundle in his arms.

Jessica and Jedidiah glanced at each other, stifling laughter at their young son’s seriousness. Jericho lifted his head to add that he would protect his brother too, but was interrupted by a fist pounding on the door. Jedidiah quickly stood to open the door for Mabel Dooley.

“Sister??” He exclaimed as she staggered into their home, panting heavily, “What happened??”

“Th-The humans discovered me,” Mabel rasped, “They are coming.”

The four Dooleys hurried to get prepared to leave, Jessica wobbling and unsteady, but holding Jeremy closely to her chest. Jedidiah took Jemima and they left the house to flee into the woods. It was not long before the human population of the nearby town was in the woods, chasing them. With their newborns unable to shift, Jessica and Jedidiah had no choice but to stay in human form to ensure their safety in their arms. 

Jessica struggled, eventually unable to keep running and collapsed. 

“M-Mabel, take Jeremy,” she huffed, pushing Jeremy into her arms, “Jed, g-get them out of here.”

Jedidiah hesitated, but the sounds of the approaching humans signaled there was no time to argue. He kissed his wife.

“I am so sorry, darling,” He whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jessica returned, “Go!”

The remaining three ran as she collapsed further onto the forest floor. They were still close enough to hear her scream when the humans caught up. They stifled tears as they ran. There was no time for mourning. They paused at a stream.

“Sister, we have to split up,” Jedidiah grunted breathlessly, “Like Parson’s farm, remember?”

“If one of us is caught, the other is free,” Mabel recalled, nodding, “I’ll take the boys North, toward the mountains. You take Jemima West, toward the coast.”

“Jericho, be good for your aunt and help protect Jeremy, okay?” Jedidiah muttered, “I love you all. Be safe.”

“Same to you brother,” Mabel returned.

Then they split, Mabel and Jericho crossing the stream and Jedidiah following it toward the West. Jedidiah ran until he couldn’t hear the humans and then kept running until he physically couldn’t any more. When he was not pursued, he realized he was the one who was free. 

Meaning his sister and his sons had been caught. 

** Present Day **

“Father said he searched many moons for his sister and my brothers,” Ryan read, “And never found any sign of them. My heart aches for them. I almost wish father had not told me, but I am grateful to finally know this secret that has weighed on him the past eighteen years. He seemed more peaceful once he had confessed.”

He flipped the page to read the next entry.

“That’s enough,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan closed the journal and cautiously reached out to squeeze Jeremy’s shoulder. 

“She...wasn’t my mother,” Jeremy murmured, “She never said anything. And Jer never...”

He wrapped his arms around his stomach, looking pale and shaky.

“Why didn’t they tell me?” He wondered, voice thick.

“Well, perhaps they had planned to,” Ryan suggested, “But you said your mo-your aunt got sick. Perhaps she was unable to find the strength.”

Jeremy wobbled, looking like he might be sick.

“That’s why Jer couldn’t handle it when she died,” he realized, “Because he’d already lost one mother. And I-!”

He choked on tears and Ryan pulled him onto his lap, holding him closely. _This is unfair. This is completely unfair! Why must he hurt so much??_ Ryan pressed his nose in Jeremy’s hair. _And why can I do nothing about it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet that’s not what you expected. Also, I started to just do J names and Jericho was going to be Josiah, but then I realized literally everyone else’s names were Je and I felt bad for leaving him out. XD
> 
> Anyway, I’m starting the new alternating schedule! Two new stories will be posted tomorrow (or today for the patron saints), so be on the look out if you would like to read more of my stuff (psst, it’s a coffee shop/witch au and a sort of evil twin au, if you have any interest).


	11. Chapter 11

Jeremy sat down with Ira the day after he learned about his family. Ryan was filled with worry over how this would end up, but as they sat he noted she was anxious, her face twisted up. She already suspected what Jeremy was about to tell her. Jeremy sighed, looking down at his hands.

“The thing that ails my sister cannot be cured,” he murmured, “It’s not just a sickness, it’s a condition that has afflicted many of my family. My mo-my _aunt_ died from it, her mother died from it, and her mother died from it. As I understand, many others have also. My family spent a lot of time looking for cures. There are none to be found. I’m sorry.”

Ira closed her eyes tightly against tears.

“I...I thought it might be so,” she admitted, “I just want...I did not want to believe this.”

Jeremy‘s face twisted up and Ryan squeezed his hand. Jeremy gave him a weak, tired smile before refocusing on Ira.

“I understand,” he muttered, “And I am sorry I can’t give you any hope. However, there is one thing I can do. I can retrieve a plant that will make her suffer less.”

Ryan frowned. Why hadn’t he mentioned this before?

“It’s found where I lived before,” Jeremy explained, “So I will have to leave for a few days, but it can help. All I need is a horse, if you can spare one.”

“Yes, of course, anything that could help her,” Ira pleaded, squeezing his hand, “What else do you need? I will give you anything.”

“I just need horse,” Jeremy answered, “I’ll do my best to make it there and back as quick as I can.”

“Thank you!” Ira cried, “After all that has happened, I do not deserve your help. Thank you for giving it anyway.”

“It was not your fault,” Jeremy dismissed, “Besides this, I do this more for my sister.”

“You are a blessing,” Ira murmured, head bowing, “I am so grateful to you.”

Jeremy looked like the words physically hurt him. Ryan’s heart squeezed. 

~  


Jeremy and Ryan set out almost immediately, galloping off to the North. After some time Jeremy stopped the horse at a stream and they dismounted. He braced his hand on a tree, back to Ryan. Ryan approached cautiously.

“There’s no plant, is there?” He guessed.

“There is,” Jeremy murmured, “It’s called wolfsbane.”

_ Oh. _

“Jeremy, are you sure about this?” Ryan whispered.

“In this stage, she will begin to suffer even worse,” Jeremy answered, “Death is the only relief for her now.”

Ryan put his arms around his waist and held him closely, pressing his cheek to Jeremy’s.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “This must be awful for you.”

“For _me?!”_ Jeremy shrieked, jerking away from him, “Who cares about me?! What about my sister?? What about her wife?? What about my dead family, half killed by my own hand?? I am nothing but death incarnate! You should be running from me! You will no doubt be next when I’ve finished off my family!”

“No, I won’t,” Ryan dismissed, “You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t.”

“I already did!” Jeremy cried, “I left you, tossed you aside like garbage! Why are you still setting yourself up for more pain?! Get the hell away from me! Run as fast as you can! Save yourself!”

“No, you’re not going to hurt me,” Ryan insisted.

“You don’t know that!” Jeremy argued.

“Yes, I do!” Ryan protested. 

“How do you know?!” Jeremy demanded, “How could you possibly know that?!”

“Because you have scars!” Ryan shouted.

He almost flinched at his own loud voice, shrinking a bit inside himself. He looked away as Jeremy scowled at him.

“What...what do you mean?” He grunted.

_Please don’t be mad._

“Your...back,” Ryan mumbled, fidgeting a bit, “Claws...tore you up. A mountain lion’s claws. But you...it looks like you didn’t fight. At least at first...Someone you loved did that to you.”

He gripped his coat sleeve, over his upper arm.

“I see how you look at me,” he murmured, “You know someone I loved hurt me too. That’s how I know you won’t hurt me, because you know what it’s like to hurt and you know that I’ve been hurt before.”

They were quiet a moment.

“H-Hurt people hurt others all the time,” Jeremy pointed out weakly.

“We do,” Ryan agreed, “And you did. You hurt me when you left the first time. But you saw what you did and now you won’t hurt me again.“

“But what if I do?” Jeremy whispered tearfully.

Ryan stepped closer to him, taking his hand. Jeremy looked up at him as tears ran down his face, eyes full of desperation and pain.

“Then you’ll fix it,” Ryan answered, “You may not have been able to fix the sickness of your mother or sister and whatever happened with your brother, but this, us, can be repaired when we mess up. We can work on this, build and rebuild.”

He put his hand on Jeremy’s cheek and Jeremy leaned into it.

“Together,” he whispered.

Jeremy put his hand over Ryan’s. 

“Together,” he agreed.

Ryan leaned down to kiss him gently then pressed his forehead against his. They stayed there awhile before they remounted and headed off. Ryan held Jeremy around the middle and rested his head on his shoulder. He hoped the trip wouldn’t be long. No doubt this was very difficult for Jeremy. 

~

Jeremy knelt down to begin digging up the wolfsbane. Ryan knelt near him and began digging up another of the plant. Jeremy glanced at him, giving him a tired, grateful smile. Ryan returned the smile, glad that Jeremy didn’t have to be alone for this horrible chore. They made short work of filling the satchel they brought to hold the poisonous plant. 

Then they stood and Jeremy took Ryan’s hand and began leading him from the meadow. He’d been quiet and faraway the entire three days it took them to get there. The closer they got, the sadder he seemed. Ryan figured that made sense. Especially since now it seemed Jeremy had really taken him to where he used to live. 

Jeremy led Ryan to two round stones sitting side-by-side. It was easy to guess their use. Jeremy knelt down and retrieved some of the flowers of the wolfsbane plant. He placed two flowers each on the headstones. Ryan knelt beside him, still holding his hand.

“Jericho, my older brother,” Jeremy murmured, pointing at the right stone, “He left the claw scars on my back.”

_ Jeremy... _

“My...father left the whip scars on my thighs...” Ryan returned quietly, “And the knife scars on my mouth.”

Their hands squeezed each other.

“If I could go back and take our pain from us, I would,” Jeremy muttered, “Even if we would never meet, I would take it all away. I hope you don’t misunderstand, I am so happy I met you, but I would rather we bear no scars and be apart than together with this pain that aches inside us.”

Ryan put his other hand over Jeremy’s and laid his head on his shoulder.

“I understand completely,” he assured him.

Jeremy relaxed slightly, leaning his head against Ryan’s. They stayed for a bit before they got back up to head back to Jeremy’s sister. Ryan hoped Ira would not be too upset with Jeremy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you sad yet? Do you need more sad??


	12. Chapter 12

Jeremy was more than a little nervous about telling Ira what he planned to do. He considered just doing it, not telling her, but it didn’t seem very fair to leave her out of it. After all, Jemima was more _her_ family than Jeremy’s. 

But when they got back, Jemima had already fallen into the last stage of suffering. Her body was wracked with spasms and she was coughing out blood at an alarming rate. Ira looked frantic. Jeremy sat her down and explained what he had done.

“I-It will be quick?” Ira sniffled.

“Yes, almost instant,” Jeremy assured her.

“Then we must do it,” she agreed, “Her suffering is so much.”

Jeremy squeezed her shoulder and she hugged him tightly. He hugged her back. He wished Jericho had reacted this way. She pulled away and they set to work making the tea that would put Jemima to sleep forever. Ryan helped a bit as well, but really just him being there was enough. Jeremy was glad to have someone with him, on his side. He’d buried his whole family the day he’d done this before. 

Once it was prepared, they went to Jemima’s side. They propped her up and Jeremy lifted the cup to her lips. He had to pour it down her throat as he had done before. Once the cup was empty, Jemima went limp, but her eyes opened. She hazily focused on Jeremy.

“Thank you, brother,” she rasped.

“Rest peacefully, sister,” Jeremy murmured.

Then Jemima Dooley closed her eyes and died.  


Ira held her hand tightly, pressing it to her forehead as she cried. Jeremy slipped off the bed and left the room. Ryan followed him quietly as he went to the kitchen to clean up the mess of the wolfsbane. Ryan helped him clean up then sat him at the table and started making some food. 

Before the food was done, Ira joined them. They sat in silence as Ryan cooked and as they ate the stew. After eating, Jeremy finally spoke up.

“Where would you like to bury her?” He asked quietly.

“There is a willow tree she enjoyed reading under,” Ira answered, “On the hill.”

“I will dig the grave for you,” Jeremy offered, “And when you’re ready, we can send her off.”

“Thank you,” Ira whispered.

Jeremy stood and left the house, taking a spade from the tool shed and traipsing up the hill to the willow tree. Ryan followed him, but said nothing as they looked over the view. It was pretty there. _Peaceful._ Jeremy could understand why she liked it.  


A soft, spring-scented breeze rustled the willow’s hanging branches, the leaves fluttering. He felt very connected to her. Like he was seeing through her eyes for the briefest of moments as he looked out over the rolling hills where the grass was swaying and critters were skittering about. _I’m sorry, sister, I wish I could have known you._

He stuck the spade in the dirt and began digging. Ryan stayed nearby, but seemed to sense he wanted to do this job on his own. Ryan seemed to know everything. Jeremy never had to speak to be heard by him. 

Once the grave was dug, they returned to the house. Ira requested they bury her at night after she came back from rounding up Jemima’s closest friends. She left and Jeremy sat on the bed in the guest room. Ryan sat beside him, squeezing his hand.

“Are you still sure you wouldn’t rather just run?” Jeremy mumbled.

“Even if I did, cougars are faster than wolves,” Ryan joked.

Jeremy puffed out a short laugh and laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t even know her,” he muttered, “But somehow I miss her.”

“Perhaps you miss what could’ve been,” Ryan suggested.

“That does seem likely,” Jeremy agreed, “And you said it, so it must be true.”

“I am pretty smart when I want to be,” Ryan chuckled.

He laid his head against Jeremy’s and they stayed there until Ira returned. 

Jemima’s body was put in a simple wooden coffin and carried up the hill by Ira, Jeremy, and a few of Jemima’s friends. Jeremy was surprised she had so many. Though he supposed it made sense. She grew up around people. Jeremy had grown up completely isolated, so of course he had no friends. She’d even managed to find people that didn’t care that she was a shifter. 

They lowered her coffin into the hole and Ryan put his arm around Jeremy as he stepped back. Jeremy pressed to his side, seeking his warmth. He suddenly felt freezing. Like he was the one in the box.

“Thank you friends and family,” Ira spoke, “Of Jemima Dooley, for coming to celebrate the life of a beautiful woman who was pure and good. Though today her soul has left us, her memory will linger. Jemima, may you rest peacefully.”

Then she stepped forward and took a handful of soil from the pile and dropped it into the hole. Jeremy watched in confusion as his sister’s friends all did the same. It must have been some human tradition to do so. Once they had dropped in a handful, they headed back toward the house. 

Jeremy waited until they were finished to retrieve the spade from where he’d propped it against the tree and finish the job. Once that was finished, Ira laid flowers over the grave and headed back. Jeremy laid two wolfsbane flowers on the grave before he left too. Ryan was quiet as they gathered their things and bid Ira farewell. Jeremy wanted to go home and for the first time in many years, he knew exactly where that was. 

~

Jeremy barely paused to drop his clothes before crawling into bed when they got back to the cabin. Ryan was right behind him, quickly cuddling up to him. Jeremy buried his face in Ryan’s chest and Ryan held him closely.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, “You’re safe to let it out now.”

The wail that launched out of Jeremy was akin to the scream he called out in animal form. He screamed and cried into Ryan’s chest for what felt like hours before he finally passed out. Ryan cried silently as he held him. He knew Jeremy could get better with time, but when Jeremy hurt, he hurt and Jeremy was really hurting. All Ryan could do was be there and hope that was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an older brother I love dearly and it always fucks me up when I write/read/see sibling death, but for some reason I just keep writing it.


	13. Chapter 13

Jeremy was very grateful to Ryan the days following his sister’s death. He continuously dragged him off into the woods to work on their cabin. It was good to have something to focus on. By day three he was feeling more himself than he had in nearly two weeks. It was better to move forward with previously laid plans than to wallow in sorrow for something that had been inevitable. 

Jeremy sat down against a tree, huffing to catch his breath. He was getting better at the building, but still not as good as Ryan. Actually, now that he thought about it, Ryan was a bit of an expert. He’d helped the town plan out the buildings and had a hand in nearly every aspect of the actual building. Perhaps he was a carpenter before he was a dangerous criminal. Perhaps he came from a family of carpenters. 

Jeremy thought about the scars on Ryan. How many years had he been forced to stay with his horrid father? Jeremy had only had to deal with Jericho physically hurting him once, but Ryan had been hurt a lot. Or at least it seemed like it had occurred many times. It was probably best not to try to guess. Jeremy looked around the clearing. Where the hell was he anyway? 

Jeremy stood up and looked around. _What the hell? When did he disappear?_

“Ryan?” He called. 

“Over here!” Ryan called back.

Jeremy followed where his voice had come from. The sound of splashing water came from the same direction. Right, the stream was nearby. Ryan must have gone to drink some water. That sounded like a grand idea. 

Ryan was not drinking water when Jeremy arrived, but Jeremy felt suddenly much thirstier. Ryan was in the stream, bent over as he wet his hair, running his hands through it as if he was rinsing it out. Water dripped down his pale skin, reflecting the clear moonlight like tiny twinkling stars. The moon seemed to be purposely centered on Ryan as his reflective blue eyes looked over at Jeremy. He lifted slightly, wringing his hair out and smiling.

“Hello, darlin’,” he greeted sweetly.

“H-Hello,” Jeremy stammered, “What, uh, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Ryan laughed, “I’m washing the sweat off myself. Been a pretty long day.”

Had it? Jeremy didn’t feel very tired. He felt very, very awake. 

“You coming in?” Ryan asked, “The water’s great.”

Jeremy tried not to stumble in his haste to get over to the edge of the stream. Ryan paid him little mind as he dipped down into the water. He was back to running his hands through his hair as he sort of sat in the water, humming to himself. Jeremy had never dropped his clothes so fast. 

He had to admit it was very nice to take a dip in the cool water. He dipped down to get completely wet and shook his hair out as he re-emerged. Ryan smiled as they mostly floated beside each other, though they kept their feet on the bottom of the stream. Ryan was still playing with his hair, humming lightly, then he turned his head up, flattening a bit to look up at the moon. He was the most beautiful person Jeremy had ever seen before and he couldn’t take his eyes off his moonlit body.

Ryan howled suddenly, the sound startling Jeremy. 

“You howl in human form too?” He murmured.

“Of course!” Ryan answered, glancing at him and back up, “We need to talk still in human form.”

Jeremy flattened out a bit beside him and took his hand as they looked up at the moon together. 

~

Jeremy very suddenly howled, imitating the howl Ryan had just used. Ryan looked over in surprise. Jeremy smiled at him.

“How’d I do?” He chuckled.

“Pretty good,” Ryan laughed, “I’ll make a wolf out of you yet.”

He thought back to Jeremy’s call and figured he might give it a go. He screamed up at the moon and Jeremy howled. They grinned at each other when their calling stopped.

“Not bad,” Jeremy praised.

“I guess we’ll both be half cougar, half wolf eventually,” Ryan joked.

“What a combination,” Jeremy laughed.

Ryan turned and lifted slightly to lean over Jeremy and kiss him. Jeremy pressed back firmly, brushing Ryan’s hair from his face. Then he quite suddenly stood and scooped Ryan up into his arms. Ryan jumped a bit in surprise, putting his arms around Jeremy’s neck to hold on.

“Wh-What is it??” He sputtered, concerned.

“I’m going to fuck you,” Jeremy announced, “And a stream is no place to do that.”

_Yes! Finally!_ Jeremy lowered him to the embankment and Ryan quickly rolled over to put his ass in the air. 

“Good boy,” Jeremy praised gently.

It sent a shiver of pleasure up Ryan’s spine and he groaned softly. Jeremy pressed spit-coated fingers against his asshole and he tightly gripped the grass below his hands in anticipation. He grunted as the first finger went in, a tiny bit of burning flashing through him that was gone pretty quickly. He huffed in discomfort and impatience as Jeremy pressed more fingers inside him entirely too slowly in his opinion. 

“Jeremy,” he whined.

“Are you ready, pup?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes,” Ryan grunted, “Please.”

Jeremy pulled his fingers away to spit on his hand and rub it over his cock. Ryan’s head dropped and he looked between his shaking thighs as Jeremy pressed his cock inside him. Ryan whined in pain and tears sprang to his eyes as Jeremy slowly forced his cock inside him. Ryan panted as he watched Jeremy’s cock disappear inside him. It wasn’t the greatest view of it, but it was enough to send shudders through Ryan. 

It was so good, Jeremy’s cock stretching and burning his ass, using him without regard for how fucking bad it hurt. Ryan’s shaking arms couldn’t hold him up properly any more and he dropped to his forearms, groaning and growling in pain. He felt a sense of satisfaction when Jeremy reached the end and their bodies slotted together snugly. He groaned lowly, half pain, all pleasure.

Jeremy gripped his hips tightly, giving him no time to relax or get used to the feeling before he was fucking into him hard and quick. Ryan cried out, fingers digging into the dirt as he met Jeremy’s thrusts halfway, slamming them together. Jeremy gripped his hair to pull his head back and leaned over him to speak in his ear.

“Who do you belong to, bitch?” He growled.

“Y-You!” Ryan cried, “I-I’m your bitch!”

Jeremy’s hand wrapped around Ryan’s cock.

“Good boy,” he purred, “So obedient for such a lustful little bitch.”

Ryan moaned, the praise and the taunting filling him with warmth and arousal. Jeremy brushed his hair aside and bit down on the back of his neck. Ryan tensed and they released at the same time, Ryan screaming and Jeremy growling against his skin. They slumped a bit, huffing as they tried to catch their breath. 

Jeremy licked at the bite he left on Ryan. He’d actually managed to break skin on this one. _He could possibly leave scars if he did it enough._ Permanent proof he was Jeremy’s bitch. Ryan shuddered. _Yes, please!_

After they were mostly with it again, they cleaned up in the stream, Ryan being no help as he couldn’t stop rubbing his face against Jeremy’s and hugging him. Jeremy chuckled at him as he handled the cleaning, telling him he was such a good boy and so sweet. Ryan glowed under his praises. Jeremy offered to carry him on his back to the camp since his legs weren’t functioning right and they were quiet a moment as they moved through the forest.

“I’m ready,” Jeremy murmured, “Once the cabin is built, I want you to live with me. I mean, we basically already live together.”

Ryan squeezed around him, rubbing his cheek to his. 

“I’m so happy!” He admitted tearfully.

“Me too,” Jeremy agreed, “It will take time for me to heal all of my wounds, but I am happy and...I want to spend that time with you.”

Ryan buried his face in Jeremy’s neck.

“I’m so glad,” he mumbled, “I want to spend as much time with you as I can get.”

“You’re very sweet, Ryan,” Jeremy mused, “I’m very glad I met you.”

“Me too!” Ryan agreed.

They fell into pleasant silence for the rest of the short walk. Ray was at the campfire and gave him a knowing grin as they passed. Ryan stuck his tongue out at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took them long enough to get to round two. 😂


	14. Chapter 14

Jeremy smiled down at Ryan’s peaceful sleeping face. He was the luckiest man in the world, he thought. He had an adorable mate that liked it rough and cared very deeply for him. He couldn’t have imagined he’d find someone as amazing as Ryan that would want to spend his time with him. 

He sat beside him on the bed and gently shook his shoulder.

“Ry, I got breakfast for you,” he coaxed.

Ryan blinked sleepily up at him and smiled lightly. Jeremy blushed a little. _He really does seem to like me. What a fool._ They shifted around a bit to get into their position from before: Ryan propped up in Jeremy’s lap, sitting on the pillow. He smiled up at Jeremy before starting to eat. Jeremy played with his hair, tying little braids in it that would probably come out on their own.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

“V, we need you for something!” King called through the door.

“That’s unfortunate,” Ryan grunted, “I can barely move.”

“Why don’t I go?” Jeremy suggested.

“Fine, then get ready,” King ordered, “And hurry up.”

Jeremy helped Ryan prop up against the wall to finish eating then got his clothes and equipment on. He kissed Ryan goodbye, promising him he’d be back as soon as he could and asking if he needed anything. 

The FAH Gang was mostly silent as they headed out on horseback. Other than a “follow us, Rimmy”, they mostly ignored him as always. Jeremy was okay with that. He didn’t know how to talk to them, how to be with them, especially since he was still pretty scared of them. They were really all threats in his opinion. Potential betrayers. Ryan was the only person he wasn’t completely terrified of. And he was still a little scared of him too. 

But watching them, he thought that’s what a family should be. Happy, joking with and teasing each other. _Playful,_ that was the right word for the wolves. He wished he could be like them. He didn’t know how though. He considered howling with Ryan and playing on the hill. Maybe if he imitated a wolf, he’d fit in better.

“Okay everyone,” King called back, “We’re here! Spread out.”

Jeremy watched them spread across the road and carefully took the open spot. He was next to Gold who gave him a cheerful wave. With the six of them, they were blocking the road entirely. So was this an ambush? Jeremy looked ahead as the sound of hooves slowly came toward them. 

Six riders came over a small hill and made their way to the six of them. They were coyote shifters, it seemed, as they got close enough for Jeremy to smell. And they all smelled possibly related to the one he’d met before. He wasn’t completely sure though. He still wasn’t very familiar with shifter scents, but the one on his end, directly in front of him, smelled very similar to the coyote he’d met. 

“You know why we’ve called you,” one of the coyotes spoke, “One of our pack resides in your... _town.”_

They spat the word town like it tasted bad in their mouth. Jeremy decided he didn’t like them very much. 

“They belong with us,” the coyote hissed, “Your town is no place for them. Living alongside cats and prey.”

They looked at Jeremy, face curling in a sneer.

“Disgusting,” they spat.

Jeremy scowled at them. _Rude._

“Our town resides in our territory,” King answered, “We hold no obligation to give up anyone on our land.”

“Do you wish to war with every coyote in the West?” The coyote sneered.

“No, I wish for our pack of 53 shifters to live peacefully on our land,” King dismissed, “But you couldn’t possibly raise every coyote in the West anyhow, seeing as we’ve seven already on our side. Even if you tried, I very strongly doubt you could get two packs, let alone the dozens of packs in the greater area, to work together merely for the purpose of retrieving _one_ coyote.”

The coyote straightened up and their face twisted in a snarl. 

“I would like to be eighth,” the coyote on the end spoke up, “I am their twin, I wish to be with them.”

Jeremy’s heart squeezed.

“Excuse me?!” The head coyote bellowed, “After their betrayal, you would side with them?!”

“My sibling was always there for me,” the other spoke quietly, “It was _I_ who betrayed them for not standing with them. They should be with whoever they love, no matter what sort of shifter they are.”

Jeremy’s chest only got tighter. The coyote bowed their head.

“Please, Night King, I implore you, allow me to enter your pack so I may be with my sibling again,” they pleaded.

“If you leave, you cannot return!” The head coyote warned.

“Our family has room for any peaceful shifter,” King assured them, “We would love to have you.”

He gestured in a sort of sweeping motion, as if to invite them to their side. They started to lead their horse over and the head coyote moved to draw a weapon, but mountain lions are faster than both coyotes and wolves. Jeremy shot their hand as it closed on the handle of their pistol. The horses whinnied and stomped their hooves in protest.

“That’s called a warning shot, coyote,” King growled, “Get out of here before the next one goes through your eye.”

Jeremy aimed for their eye and they hesitated, snarling and clutching their hand. After a moment, they finally turned their horse and went off from where they’d come. The FAH Gang waited until they were out of sight to start whooping and cheering. Gold leaned over and patted Jeremy’s back.

“That was amazing, Rimmy!” He exclaimed, putting up a finger gun, “Pew! So fast I barely saw you!”

“I think I blinked and missed it!” Rider laughed.

They all called congratulations to the coyote for joining and praises to Jeremy for his speed and lack of hesitance as they turned to head home. Jeremy realized suddenly he didn’t need to be a wolf to fit in. It was the whole point of Fake Town, wasn’t it? There was no “normal”, there was no one way to be. 

Hell, even the FAH Gang was six of the most varied wolves they could be. Yet they were a pack. They worked together and they loved each other despite, or maybe more accurately, _because_ of their differences. They filled the empty spots the others left and they recognized differences as a good thing. 

Jeremy felt like an idiot that he only just now realized it. The clues had been there all along, after all. Maybe he could join the gang after all. He didn’t need to join the pack though, he was already there, he just had to admit it finally.

~

Jeremy was absolutely glowing when he returned from the mission. He paced around describing what happened while Ryan watched him with a smile. It was the liveliest Ryan had _ever_ seen Jeremy and it was adorable. He just had such a bouncy energy about him. He stopped and fidgeted with his hands in front of his chest, the energy dimming slightly.

“S-So do you think the offer still stands?” He mumbled nervously, “To join the FAH Gang?”

“Of course,” Ryan assured him, “King actually was pestering me to pester you into joining. He likes your skills.”

Jeremy brightened back up, grinning wildly. He bounced over to kiss Ryan firmly before saying he was going to talk to King. Ryan shook his head, smiling softly as Jeremy closed the door. What was that about needing time? Jeremy didn’t seem to need much time at all, just more seeing of the truth. Ryan was so happy and proud he could burst. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, could this two get any cuter?  
> 🤢🤢🤢


	15. Chapter 15

Jeremy cleared his throat as Ryan led him to the area next to the bonfire that had been cleared for dancing. He’d never danced before. He didn’t know how. Ryan took his hands, placing one on his shoulder and clasping the other.

“Just follow my lead,” he instructed as he put his arm around Jeremy, “Keep your eyes on me.”

The firelight cast over one half of his face, lighting his blue eye on fire. It danced and sparkled in the warm light like the ocean. The other half of his face was in shadow, his other eye reflecting like a mirror. 

“I couldn’t take my eyes off you if I tried,” Jeremy whispered, “You’re the most beautiful person in the world.”

Ryan’s eyes widened slightly and Jeremy wished he could see the blush under the mask. Ryan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away.

“It isn’t nice to make fun,” he mumbled.

“Good thing I wasn’t,” Jeremy snorted, “You really are extremely beautiful.”

Ryan hesitantly met his eyes again.

“You’re beautiful too,” he murmured.

“Thank you,” Jeremy muttered.

_But I could never be on the same level as you._ The music started and they straightened up. Ryan moved forward and Jeremy moved back. They shuffled forward and backward and around in a circle. Jeremy stumbled a bit here and there, but for the most part it did seem that it was as easy as following Ryan’s lead. 

“So the town is all built,” Ryan murmured, “You’re part of the pack and the cabin is almost finished.”

He sounded a bit anxious.

“Yes, I think everything is going well,” Jeremy answered, “Tomorrow looks bright for us, pup.”

Ryan’s shoulders relaxed slightly. 

“I...yeah, I think so too,” he agreed, “So...you’re not going anywhere then?”

“No, I’m getting comfortable now,” Jeremy assured him, “I feel I’ve found some place to be. Some place I sort of fit, I think.”

“I’m so glad,” Ryan murmured, squeezing his hand, “I know you said you’re staying, but it’s hard to not worry.”

“I understand,” Jeremy muttered, squeezing back, “Especially after what I’ve done, I wouldn’t blame you for being worried. But I’m staying.”

“Good,” Ryan grunted, bumping his forehead against Jeremy’s, “Because I’ll be sad if you leave. _Really_ sad.”

“Then I guess I better tie myself to you,” Jeremy joked.

“Might be nice,” Ryan laughed.

Suddenly the music stopped and they paused to look over. King was standing by the musicians.

“Excuse me, can I have everyone’s attention please?” He called out.

Everyone gathered around.

“First of all, thank you everyone for your combined efforts to bring Fake Town to life,” he began, “But we have one particular person to thank for everything that’s happened here.”

_Ryan,_ Jeremy assumed, considering he’d basically built the town singlehandedly. Well, he was the head of the building anyway.

“While we did all come together, if not for him, we never could’ve gotten here,” King continued, “Despite holding no responsibility to help us, despite being safer by leaving, and despite the fact he’s a bit of a lone wolf, he’s gone out of his way to ensure we could get to this point. As thanks for all he’s done, the rest of us got together and wrote up how he helped us personally.”

He lifted a journal up. _Aww, that’s so sweet._

“And we each poured our hearts out to show him how grateful we are to him,” he concluded, “So Rimmy Tim, please accept this as a small token of our gratitude.”

Everyone standing around turned to Jeremy who froze, eyes widening in surprise. _Me?_ Ryan gently nudged him forward by the small of his back, guiding him up to King. Jeremy looked around at the shifters who were smiling at him, nodding encouragingly. _Me??_ Ryan stopped him in front of King who held out the journal.

“You should know,” he muttered, “Just because you’re a bit of a loner, doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate everything you’ve done. We ain’t blind, we’ve seen how you’ve thrown yourself into helping us, even though you try to make it seem like you don’t care.”

Jeremy was speechless. He’d just assumed everyone ignored him. But they hadn’t ignored him, they’d respected his desire for isolation. He wasn’t sure how to feel, knowing the others all appreciated him so much after he’d gone out of his way to push them away. Except _guilty_ for ignoring them. 

Jeremy took the journal hesitantly and brought it to his chest. He turned to face the others.

“Thank you all,” he muttered, bowing to them a bit nervously.

“Alright, everyone back to celebrating now!” King called out.

Everyone cheered and the music started up again. Ryan led Jeremy back to the cabin, clearly sensing that Jeremy had had enough interaction for the day. 

~

Jeremy sat on the bed and held the journal out to Ryan immediately.

“Can you read it to me?” He asked quietly.

“Well, I can start it,” Ryan assured, sitting beside him, “But there’s 53 entries you know.”

He took the journal and Jeremy laid his head on his shoulder. 

“I...Everyone was being nice, weren’t they?” He murmured, “I thought they didn’t care, but they just didn’t want to bother me.” 

“Yes, in fact, Geoff got a lot of them asking if he could pass on a message of thanks,” Ryan confirmed, “But we didn’t want to overwhelm you when it seemed like you were quite uncomfortable with people.”

“I feel sort of bad now,” Jeremy chuckled lightly, “I was kind of rude to them, ignoring them and pushing them away. I guess I better try to make up for it.”

Ryan smiled and pressed a kiss to his head. He was glad now that he’d told Geoff yes when he’d asked if Jeremy was ready to be given the journal. He’d been worried he had made the wrong decision. He really started to think Jeremy might turn tail and run as soon as Geoff called out to him. But he’d been right before: Jeremy didn’t need that much time, he just needed the truth. And now Ryan was going to tell him more of the truth. He flipped open the journal.

“To my hero,” he read, “You saved my life when I could not fend for myself. You have gone out of your way to show me compassion and care I never expected. While I have been forced to smile in the past, now I find an easy smile on my face when I am with you and even when I am not. You have shown me that I can hope for the future, that I deserve to be happy, and most of all you have shown me how deeply I can love someone, through all adversity. 

“Whatever my past, whatever my species, whatever I face, I can love more than I ever thought possible. While anxiety and dread still fill me, I find I can see the moon shall rise again. Even should we part, I feel I could still hope for tomorrow. I love you, Jeremy and I thank you for all you’ve done for me. Sincerely and truly yours, James Ryan Haywood.”

Jeremy looked up at him with tearful eyes.

“Ryan!” He cried, suddenly hugging him, “I love you too!”

He buried his face in Ryan’s chest and Ryan chuckled lightly as he hugged him back. 

“You made me cry on the first entry!” Jeremy huffed, “That is so rude!”

Ryan laughed, shaking his head. 

“I’m so lucky to have you,” he mused. 

“I’m lucky,” Jeremy mumbled, “Everything is good for me now.”

He leaned back.

“Ah, I need a handkerchief,” he grunted.

Ryan handed his over and Jeremy wiped his nose. Then he paused, staring down at the cloth while Ryan watched blood slowly trickle from his nose. Jeremy put the handkerchief to his nose to catch the blood.

Then his free hand closed over Ryan’s. Ryan couldn’t breathe. They were silent. What was there to say? They were frozen, stiff where they sat. What was there to do? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take my patron saint Cali’s advice and ignore the last two paragraphs and this ends great. :D Also shout out to YD for predicting the “twist”, but really, I think we all knew where this was going.
> 
> Anyway, that’s the end. Up next is another shifter fic in omega verse, my first one that really gets into that alpha/omega dynamic. Heart Hunter did to a much, much lesser degree, but this one will really delve deep, if you know what I mean. 😉
> 
> So anywho, hit me up @1stworldmutant and follow the pinned tweet to find out how to become a patron saint to get chapters a day early, read exclusive drafts, and chill with my other beautiful saints (also me I guess) on discord. As always, may your paths stay lit, little stars~✨!


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